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Sex after death (Read 1030 times)
Frances
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Sex after death
Apr 14th, 2014 at 1:43pm
 
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife.  The wife wanted to know if there was any sex in the afterlife.

Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife.

After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.  True to his word, he made the first contact,  'Judy ..Judy.':
'Is that you, Steve?'
'Yes, I've come back like we agreed.'
That's wonderful! What's it like?'
'Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course.  I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times.   Then I have lunch (you would be proud of me - lots of greens) another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon.  After supper, it's back to golf course again.  Then it's more sex until late at night.  I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again.'

'Oh, Steve you surely must be in Heaven!'

'Not exactly.  I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Bathurst.'
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bogarde73
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Re: Sex after death
Reply #1 - Apr 14th, 2014 at 2:37pm
 
Most amusing.
The subject of sex after death usually only comes up in the most bizarre  of American or British crime dramas.
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cods
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Re: Sex after death
Reply #2 - Apr 14th, 2014 at 5:27pm
 
bogarde73 wrote on Apr 14th, 2014 at 2:37pm:
Most amusing.
The subject of sex after death usually only comes up in the most bizarre  of American or British crime dramas.



someone explained to me on the Blade runner thread.. even though you are dead the heart doesnt stop pumping....for 20 min....you could get up to all sort of mischief in that time... Wink Wink
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cods
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Re: Sex after death
Reply #3 - Apr 14th, 2014 at 5:28pm
 
not sure that could have been the brain is dead but the heart isnt.....maybe.
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freediver
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Re: Sex after death
Reply #4 - Apr 14th, 2014 at 7:12pm
 
The subject also comes up in the Egyptian parliament.
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miketrees
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Re: Sex after death
Reply #5 - Apr 14th, 2014 at 7:24pm
 
I get as much sex now as a dead person.
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The Heartless Felon
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Re: Sex after death
Reply #6 - Apr 15th, 2014 at 2:04pm
 
Speaking of sex, I've just received an email advertising "Viagra - By Appointment to Her Majesty"...

If it does the job for Phil, there must be sex after death cause he ain't been lookin' too good lately.
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bogarde73
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Re: Sex after death
Reply #7 - Apr 15th, 2014 at 2:21pm
 
miketrees wrote on Apr 14th, 2014 at 7:24pm:
I get as much sex now as a dead person.


you could have added "and am enjoying it every bit as much"
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Know the enemies of a civil society by their public behaviour, by their fraudulent claim to be liberal-progressive, by their propensity to lie and, above all, by their attachment to authoritarianism.
 
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it_is_the_light
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Re: Sex after death
Reply #8 - Apr 15th, 2014 at 6:20pm
 
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ian
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Re: Sex after death
Reply #9 - Apr 15th, 2014 at 6:25pm
 
cods wrote on Apr 14th, 2014 at 5:27pm:
bogarde73 wrote on Apr 14th, 2014 at 2:37pm:
Most amusing.
The subject of sex after death usually only comes up in the most bizarre  of American or British crime dramas.



someone explained to me on the Blade runner thread.. even though you are dead the heart doesnt stop pumping....for 20 min....you could get up to all sort of mischief in that time... Wink Wink

Lol, someones pulling your leg. the heart stops beating immediately. Thats how they know you are dead Cods. If your heart is still beating then you arent dead.
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Peter Freedman
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Re: Sex after death
Reply #10 - Apr 15th, 2014 at 6:49pm
 
If there is no sex after death, then I'm not going.
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AiA
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Re: Sex after death
Reply #11 - Apr 16th, 2014 at 1:21pm
 
I thought this thread was about Jimmy Savile when I read the title.
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Neferti
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Re: Sex after death
Reply #12 - Apr 16th, 2014 at 2:48pm
 
miketrees wrote on Apr 14th, 2014 at 7:24pm:
I get as much sex now as a dead person.



Why is that a problem?

Does anybody care?

Grab some young thing and have your way with it, problem solved.

Or

Open your wallet and do what most do ....... buy some.  Roll Eyes

Otherwise, cease and desist complaining. I doubt that ANYBODY on this Forum gets daily/weekly/monthly sex.  Except the liars.  Grin
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miketrees
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Re: Sex after death
Reply #13 - Apr 16th, 2014 at 4:08pm
 
Open your wallet and do what most do ....... buy some.

Not sure I am ready to become bisexual
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Team Froggie
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Re: Sex after death
Reply #14 - Apr 16th, 2014 at 7:24pm
 
Sex after death???

Not all it's cracked up to be!

It all depends on the ghoul you're with......

Grin Grin
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"What's in store for me in the direction I don't take?"-Jack Kerouac.
 
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