John Smith wrote on Jan 30^th, 2015 at 8:59pm:


I kinda did that as a kid. They put us in cages back then called cots so it was localised to the wall you could reach.

Aussie wrote on Jan 30^th, 2015 at 9:42pm:



It never really bothered me enough to come up with that one! If you think baby nappies are bad, don't assist a plumber cleaning sewerage pipes or live near a hide drying thingo. I grew up in Perth and there was the Freo abattoir that we passed going to Mandurah where my grandparents lived. There were two roads, the quickest took you past the abattoir and the hide drying sheds. Us kids were always, not the smelly way! It was bad, death smells so much worse than shyte. Then you had the Kwinana refinery with it's sulphur dioxide smell. At least the Peel inlet was a reward. Go crabbing and stuff.

Too True!

        “Two priests decided to go on a Hawaiian vacation” ..

They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them

As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc ....

The next morning they went to the beach dressed in their 'tourist' garb . They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a 'drop dead gorgeous' blonde in a topless bikini came walking straight towards them .They couldn't help but stare ...

As the blonde passed them she smiled and said 'Good Morning, Father ~ Good Morning, Father,' nodding and addressing each of them individually, then she passed on by .They were both stunned.  How in the world did she know they were priests? So the next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits .

These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them!  Once again, in their new attire, they settled down in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine. After a little while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a different colored topless bikini, taking her sweet time, came walking toward them.  Again she nodded at each of them, and said

'Good morning, Father ~ Good morning, Father,' and started to walkaway.  One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said, 'Just a minute, young lady .' 'Yes, Father?'

'We are priests and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world do you know we are priests, dressed as we are?' She replied,



'Father, it's me, --- Sister Kathleen ....'

True.....

Vic wrote on Feb 10^th, 2015 at 1:47pm:



Of course, that is not defined as 'domestic violence'..... get ye to the Victorian inquiry.... wouldst thou be a feeder of trolls?

Quick conservationist joke for you all,


Two baby seals walked into a club...

Once again The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.

The  winners are:

1.  Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2.  Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3.  Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 

4.  Esplanade (v.),  to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5.  Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6.  Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7.  Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8.  Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9.  Flatulence (n.),          emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10.  Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11.  Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12.  Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. 

13.  Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14.  Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15.  Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.   

16.  Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
The winners are:

1.  Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2.  Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3.  Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject  financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4.  Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5.  Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

6.  Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7.  Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8.  Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

9.  Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

10.  Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11.  Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12.  Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13.  Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14.  Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15.  Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And  the pick of the literature:

16.  Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.