|
aikmann4
|
First of all, to rob a house, you need to do these steps:
First - Case the Joint
Spend a few days, preferably running or some poo (make sure to change clothes, hats, etc to avoid recognition) to memorize the families and neighbors routes and habits - If one house, no matter how juicy, has a nosy neighbor from hell (or a guard dog), leave it.
Second - Preparation
You need to prepare yourself - buy a new, cheap pair of shoes (10$ would be fine), wear clothes that are light, yet helps you from being recognized, THICK gloves (Doctor's gloves are very thin and can even HELP in the detection of fingerprints), get a haircut (can be a common source of identification if a murder accidentally takes place, but that wouldn't happen if you followed step 1), LEARN LOCKPICKING (You DON'T want to have to smash in a window, it's loud and can leave small traces of glass in your clothes, possibly identifying you) so you can pick the lock on the back door.
Third - Entry
Enter the building - It's not that complicated, bring your supplies (Standard-Issue: Mask, Gloves, Bag, Weapon*, Lockpicking kit) and enter the building via a way that ISN'T open to the street yet gives you a possible source of an emergency exit (In case of unwanted company (ironic, no?) or the owners coming home). DO NOT BREAK A WINDOW, IT IS LOUD AND LEAVES EVIDENCE.
Fourth - The Loot
Search through the rooms - pay special attention to the Master and Children bedrooms - they often contain computers, jewelry, wallets, and other valuables. ALWAYS check the closet - I** once found a stash of jewerly in a shoebox. Yes, a Shoebox. Acquire things based off a WEIGHT - VALUE ratio - don't pick up a 50 lb ancient computer unlikely to get you 20$ in the street, go for slim desktops***, and laptops***, ipods (NOT PHONES - NEVER TAKE A smacking PHONE, THEY CAN TRACE YOUR ASS) games, antiques, rare collectibles (I'm talking like EPIC rating here, like one of the first 5 volumes printed of Harry Potter or some poo)
Stick all of the loot you can into your bag, then get the hell out of there.
Fifth - Getting the hell out
The most crucial part of a robbery is to snatch-and-grab, get in, get the goods, and get the bugger out. So many idiots get caught because they think there is something worth more than 5$ that they didn't grab.
Use your secondary exit, and run towards your designated pickup spot (where you left your car some distance away, or where your partner-in-crime is waiting), MAKING SURE YOU ARE NOT SEEN.
Sixth - Pawning the poo / Getting rid of evidence
Don't ever ever ever try to pawn something anywhere near where it was stolen. Rule of thumb : When pawning computers (If you don't want to use) MAKE SURE YOU COMPLETELY WIPE THEM - here's how - make the computer go to factory defaults, then download incredibly large amount of useless files (Encyclopedia of Britannica is a good one - it's huge!) then do it again. Why? Because police have techies than can recover data from computers - pinning the theft on you. Sell everything you possibly can on the street (without losing more than 50% value, don't sell a 3K computer for 500$), then pawn the poo (after wiping it, if a technical device - otherwise, melt it down and sell it to some gold company)
Get rid of the evidence. Burn the $10 shoes and your gloves - they can be a sort of fingerprint in themselves- and stay away from the area for a few months at LEAST.
Now you might not get caught when robbing some poor bastards house.
But don't rob:
-Elderly
-Widows
-Ninjas
-Secret Agents
-Your Drug Dealer
-Your Mom
-Optimus Prime
Or they'll come for you.
*Having a weapon in the house could cause them to retaliate violently instinctively, and you could be shot and killed. Robbery can be dangerous.
** I Admit no guilt
*** Unless the computer is reasonable light, compact, or extremely valuable, don't take it.
DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY ACTIONS YOU DO OR ANY ACTIONS DONE TO YOU BECAUSE YOU READ THIS COMMENT
|
Forum
Pages: 
