Australian Politics Forum - hilarious stuff from the hadiths/koran

Sprintcyclist

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hilarious stuff from the hadiths/koran
Sep 1^st, 2009 at 1:40pm

thanks abu, you made me google for some quotes and I have turned up these crackers.

Quote:

"Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, ‘If anyone of you rouses from sleep and performs the ablution [ritual washing], he should wash his nose by putting water in it and then blowing it out thrice, because Satan has stayed in the upper part of his nose all night."
The translator’s Footnote says, "We should believe that Satan actually stays in the upper part of one’s nose, though we cannot perceive how, for this is related to the unseen world of which we know nothing except what Allah tells us through His Apostle." Bukhari vol.4 book 54 (The Beginning of Creation) ch.10 no.516 p.328.

when we are sleeping, satan sleeps in our noses !!!!!!!

Grin

Quote:

"The demand of the pagans to the Prophet to show them a miracle. The Prophet showed them the splitting of the moon. Narrated ‘Abdullah bin Massud: During the lifetime of the Prophet the moon was split into two parts and on that the Prophet said, ‘Bear witness (to this).’" Bukhari vol.4 book 56 (The Virtues and Merits of the Prophet and his Companions) ch.26 no.830 p.533.

"Narrated Anas that the Meccan people requested Allah’s Apostle to show them a miracle, and so he showed them the splitting of the moon." Bukhari vol.4 book 56 (The Virtues and Merits of the Prophet and his Companions) ch.26 no.831 p.533.

that's funny, noone else on the earth noticed the moon splitting in two

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NorthOfNorth

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Re: hilarious stuff from the hadiths/koran
Reply #1 - Sep 1^st, 2009 at 2:00pm

Here's a good 'un...

Quote:

And, behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom; and the earth did quake, and the rocks rent;

And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose,

And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many.

Matthew 27:51-53

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NorthOfNorth

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Re: hilarious stuff from the hadiths/koran
Reply #2 - Sep 1^st, 2009 at 2:03pm

another one from the Catholic tradition...

The appearance of Mary at Fatima

Quote:

Then all at once, the sun began to spin round and round, just like a wheel of fire, casting in every direction, like a gigantic magic lantern, enormous beams of light; green, red, blue, violet and of every colour painting the clouds, the earth, the huge crowd in fantastic fashion.

After a few minutes the sun stood still, only to begin again a second and then a third time the same whirling dance in a fairy-like maze of light. While this stupendous spectacle is holding the wrapt attention of the 70,000 people, the Blessed Mother presents to the children, as she had promised a series of living tableaux.

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Sprintcyclist

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Re: hilarious stuff from the hadiths/koran
Reply #3 - Sep 1^st, 2009 at 2:44pm

the kafflicks do have some unique apparations

wonder who wrote that one ??

Quote:

5:60 Then say: "Should I inform you [People of the Book] of those, who will have even worse recompense from Allah than the transgressors? They are those whom Allah has cursed; who have been under His wrath; some of whom were turned into apes and swine; who worshipped taghut [the devil or idols]; those are the people who are in a far worse plight and who have turned farthest away from the Right Way." (Maududi)

i think 5:60 is the reference, that right abu?

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abu_rashid

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Re: hilarious stuff from the hadiths/koran
Reply #4 - Sep 1^st, 2009 at 4:33pm

Quote:

when we are sleeping, satan sleeps in our noses !!!!!!!

Satan also urinates in the ear of the one who does not rise for dawn prayers... which I'm assuming you do not

I could find hundreds of passages to mock from your books (if I were an ignoramus), but having the fear of God in me, I'd rather not risk mocking a part of it which is a remnant of the original revelation.

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Amadd Gold Member Offline Mo Posts: 6217	Re: hilarious stuff from the hadiths/koran Reply #5 - Sep 1^st, 2009 at 4:40pm Quote: when we are sleeping, satan sleeps in our noses !!!!!!! OMG...the boogie man!
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Sprintcyclist Gold Member Offline OzPolitic Posts: 39506 Gender:	Re: hilarious stuff from the hadiths/koran Reply #6 - Sep 1^st, 2009 at 7:43pm Is that what ear wax is ??? dried satans wee??? having the joy of the Spirit, I'm happy to have fun.
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NorthOfNorth Gold Member Offline OzPolitic Posts: 17258 Gender:	Re: hilarious stuff from the hadiths/koran Reply #7 - Sep 2^nd, 2009 at 12:04am Sprintcyclist wrote on Sep 1^st, 2009 at 7:43pm: Is that what ear wax is ??? dried satans wee??? having the joy of the Spirit, I'm happy to have fun. Would the skeletal remains of your walking dead grandmother knocking on your door at midnight get you swinging low with your sweet Lord?
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NorthOfNorth Gold Member Offline OzPolitic Posts: 17258 Gender:	Re: hilarious stuff from the hadiths/koran Reply #8 - Sep 2^nd, 2009 at 12:35am Sprintcyclist wrote on Sep 1^st, 2009 at 2:44pm: the kafflicks do have some unique apparations wonder who wrote that one ?? Dem Kafflicks?? Wot 'bout dat Maffhew 27 ??
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Yadda

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Re: hilarious stuff from the hadiths/koran
Reply #9 - Sep 2^nd, 2009 at 11:18am

NorthOfNorth wrote on Sep 2^nd, 2009 at 12:35am:

Sprintcyclist wrote on Sep 1^st, 2009 at 2:44pm:

the kafflicks do have some unique apparations

wonder who wrote that one ??

Dem Kafflicks?? Wot 'bout dat Maffhew 27 ??

Yes, that Matthew 27:51-53 is a little difficult to believe, isn't it!!

How about this one helian?

Matthew 3:1
In those days came John the Baptist, preaching in the wilderness of Judaea,
2 And saying, Repent ye: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.
3 For this is he that was spoken of by the prophet Esaias, saying, The voice of one crying in the wilderness, Prepare ye the way of the Lord, make his paths straight.
4 And the same John had his raiment of camel's hair, and a leathern girdle about his loins; and his meat was locusts and wild honey.
5 Then went out to him Jerusalem, and all Judaea, and all the region round about Jordan,
6 And were baptized of him in Jordan, confessing their sins.
7 But when he saw many of the Pharisees and Sadducees come to his baptism, he said unto them, O generation of vipers, who hath warned you to flee from the wrath to come?
8 Bring forth therefore fruits meet for repentance:
9 And think not to say within yourselves, We have Abraham to our father: for I say unto you, that God is able of these stones to raise up children unto Abraham.

Wow!

I'd like to see that! Shocked

2 Timothy 3:5
Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof:.....i

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"....And he said unto him, If they hear not Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded, though one rose from the dead."
Luke 16:31

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NorthOfNorth Gold Member Offline OzPolitic Posts: 17258 Gender:	Re: hilarious stuff from the hadiths/koran Reply #10 - Sep 2^nd, 2009 at 11:23am Yes, Matthew sure had a taste for hamming it up... making it up as he went along.
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