True story, from A Cabbies Day.................





We carry around all sorts and don't mind generally but there are some who just go beyond the pale.

Yeah, I know it is sad to contemplate and yes, we are confronted with some pretty disturbing stuff.

Some will already have heard of the eventual disgrace of Don Tallon, arguably the best 'keeper Australia ever had. He was in his late 40's early 50's (dunno for sure) when he played Club cricket for the the Club he was the only Life Member of at the time (until the early 80's), my Club.

Some of you may know that Tallon eventually lost his Test spot because he wanted to be picked as a leg spin bowler, not as ' keeper.' The Selectors declined, and he was axed.

I was in my mid/late teens when I managed to get the spot as 'keeper for my Club side. Tallon was in it, and bowled leg spin.

He was a cat, lightning fast. From behind the stumps, I watched in slow motion as a bloke straight drove Don, no more than a couple inches off the ground, at a million miles an hour, directly at him. Tallon was the quintessential tall wiry Aussie, and I tell you, while still on his feet, he was down and caught that thing as though it was some ballooned dolly.

In those days, Cricket Clubs used to seek the sponsorship of a local Pub. In exchange for regular patronage of our Members, the Pub would let us run chook raffles to make some money. Ours was 'The Young Aussie.'

Roll on some years, and there we all were after practice having some beers at the Pub. There also was the long retired Don, legless every evening. Neither Don nor the Publican could say "No," until Don pood himself. Then, the Publican would arrange transport for Don to get home, via Taxi.

Lovely.

In Nambour, we Cabbies were used to picking up the 'Three Fat Ladies,' Mother and her two daughters, the girls around 20 years of age, Mum mid/late 40's. Fair dinkum, these Ladies were gross. The Michelin Man times plenty. By the time Mum got in the front seat, she was totally wasted, heaving away as though she could expire at any moment. We dreaded going there. The passenger side of the Cab would noticeably sag under the weight. Down town they'd go, to do the shopping. The return was equally inviting as they not only loaded themselves into the Cab, we had to load their "groceries." Huh, groceries? Yes there were some, but mostly plastic bag after plastic bag of the largest Coke bottles in existence!

The 'Three Fat Ladies' are no more. Not too many months ago, Mum died in the dead of night, discovered by one daughter whose response was to regail the neighbourhood with screams from the street, seeking assistance, while the other daughter slept through it all.

So today, I dropped off at the Nambour Woolies Rank and noticed one Fat Lady sitting on a seat adjacent to the Rank with the usual two trolleys full of 'groceries.' She must have only just arrived there, as she was heaving away for breath, just like Mum used to, as though she had completed a marathon around the top of Everest.

Great, I was spared, but my mate Ray, wasn't. Some time later, he arrived at the Rank when she was capable of some movement again.

He does the right thing, and loads her 'groceries' and Coke bottles while she loads herself into the front passenger seat.

Now, it is accepted that when ever any of this trio get in the Cab, there is a stink of one kind or another, as you may imagine. This no exception, she had farted.

You'd reckon we would just throw her out at that stage, but no, we, as Ray did, bite the bullet and get to home as quickly as the Law allows.

They arrive home. Ray is out of the Cab, very quickly and unloads the 'groceries' on the front lawn, as she unloads herself, and begins to walk to her front door......and he observes that.....................

She has poo all over hind and lower quarters.

There is poo all over his front passenger seat.

Ray was telling me all this, and I could not believe he just cleaned it all up, and continued his shift. As is the unwritten rule among Cabbies, we express deep empathy for any of our Mates who meet these diabolical fates.

As is thus expected, I did console him that it may have been worse.

"How so," he asked.

"It could have been me."








Very Happy


(True in every respect.)

the problem tends to be worse among the poor.

IT'S GLANDULAR *breaks down into sobs*

It won't long before the normal kids are getting teased by the fat kids for their lack of weight.
I think that mollycoddling parents are mostly to blame for preferring to keep their kids inside playing xbox and letting them eat what ever junk they like.



School chairs built to handle 225kg
Sarah Vogler and Stephen Drill
The Sunday Mail (Qld)
November 09, 2008 02:54am


SCHOOLS across the country are snapping up super-sized chairs as school children continue to grow wider, taller and heavier.
A leading school furniture supplier said Queensland schools were among the biggest consumers of a super-sized school chair designed to withstand a crushing 225kg....

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,24622465-421,00.html?from=public_rss