A few weeks ago I wanted to buy a new tool.
Not no use for one and could not find the right shiny new  toy to buy.

Thought, ' they should make tools that look good for people to buy but do no task.'

It'ld have to be good looking, shiny, with a fine worm drive.
Anything else you want on it?
It needs a name too.

You need to get into "multitools".
They are generally shiny, with lots of moving parts.
They come in a multitude of shapes sizes and colours.

Some people collect them and some forums have people dedicated to one particular brand.
I have seen collections of Victorinox, Leatherman, SOG and many others.

In Australia, they cannot be carried, so basically they are useless "nonfunctional" as you have specified.
They look pretty, cost a fortune.
And new ones come out every month.

Go for it.

I got a standard leatherman in 1999 back when they had a lifetime warrenty. It is a standard metal tool without any of the fancy design crap a lot have today. I was working accross 4 buildings in the city at that time and had the option to carry either the leatherman or a tool box. Best tool  ever. Still have it and it is still perfect.

Travelled to Brisbane direct from work and accidentally got of the plane with it in my pocket. Only found what I had done when I got to the room in Bris.

I also have a small leatherman on my keyring.

It is legal to carry for reason - like work or camping etc. Not legal to just have one in your pocket for no reason. You can carry a tool that doesn't include a knife.

Valkie wrote on Apr 14^th, 2026 at 6:21pm:

You need to get into "multitools". They are generally shiny, with lots of moving parts. They come in a multitude of shapes sizes and colours. Some people collect them and some forums have people dedicated to one particular brand. I have seen collections of Victorinox, Leatherman, SOG and many others. In Australia, they cannot be carried, so basically they are useless "nonfunctional" as you have specified. They look pretty, cost a fortune. And new ones come out every month. Go for it.

I think a vibrator might be more his style, he could buy  one in a pouch to carry anywhere.

Dnarever wrote on Apr 15^th, 2026 at 9:35am:

I got a standard leatherman in 1999 back when they had a lifetime warrenty. It is a standard metal tool without any of the fancy design crap a lot have today. I was working accross 4 buildings in the city at that time and had the option to carry either the leatherman or a tool box. Best tool  ever. Still have it and it is still perfect. Travelled to Brisbane direct from work and accidentally got of the plane with it in my pocket. Only found what I had done when I got to the room in Bris. I also have a small leatherman on my keyring. It is legal to carry for reason - like work or camping etc. Not legal to just have one in your pocket for no reason. You can carry a tool that doesn't include a knife.

I collect knives.
I have several leatherman, wave, sidekick, etc.
I also have several Victorinox knives of various sizes from the Hercules down to the classic.
I am more Alox now than the old plastic scales, but some of my vintage Ones are still plastic.
The Victorinox "Swiss tool" and "Swiss tool x"  are my favourite Vic knives.

Also collect other knives, fighting knives, daggers and hook knives " Karambits", these are all locked away.
I trained with hook knives in martial arts and have a few rubber and plastic ones for training purposes.

My collection of throwing knives is limited, I have some lighter ones, but prefer the 1/2 pound and 3/4 pound knives.
I used to be pretty good with them, but I'm not practicing as much now days, so my accuracy is a bit off now.

My two favourite pocket knives are Damascus blades.
A barstard to maintain as they rust if not cleaned and oiled regularly.
But they look and feel fabulous.

I maintain all my knives with a professional sharpening machine, using stones down to marble grit.
I strop them to get that razor finish, and no, I don't cut paper to prove its sharpness, that blunts the blade.

My only "serious want" is a real Gurkha knife, not a knock off or replica.
But I have been unsuccessful so far.

DNA,

Quote:

It is legal to carry for reason - like work or camping etc. Not legal to just have one in your pocket for no reason. You can carry a tool that doesn't include a knife.

In Victoria you can't even have a micro pocket knife half the size of your little finger
on a car keyring -
it could mean serious jail time.

I like knives. I have some nice ones.

Valkie wrote on Apr 14^th, 2026 at 6:21pm:

You need to get into "multitools". They are generally shiny, with lots of moving parts. They come in a multitude of shapes sizes and colours. Some people collect them and some forums have people dedicated to one particular brand. I have seen collections of Victorinox, Leatherman, SOG and many others. In Australia, they cannot be carried, so basically they are useless "nonfunctional" as you have specified. They look pretty, cost a fortune. And new ones come out every month. Go for it.

yes, I have a few of those.

That is not what I meant.

Sprintcyclist wrote on Apr 15^th, 2026 at 9:48pm:

Valkie wrote on Apr 14th, 2026 at 6:21pm: You need to get into "multitools". They are generally shiny, with lots of moving parts. They come in a multitude of shapes sizes and colours. Some people collect them and some forums have people dedicated to one particular brand. I have seen collections of Victorinox, Leatherman, SOG and many others. In Australia, they cannot be carried, so basically they are useless "nonfunctional" as you have specified. They look pretty, cost a fortune. And new ones come out every month. Go for it. yes, I have a few of those. That is not what I meant.

Vibrator in a pouch then? You could try to please every goddess you encounter but still fail into Simp.

Bobby. wrote on Apr 15^th, 2026 at 8:20pm:

DNA, Quote: It is legal to carry for reason - like work or camping etc. Not legal to just have one in your pocket for no reason. You can carry a tool that doesn't include a knife. In Victoria you can't even have a micro pocket knife half the size of your little finger on a car keyring - it could mean serious jail time.

The internet seems to be saying its the same as other states. You can carry with reason. I may have to take the small one off my key ring. I have been carrying it for at least 15 years. It comes in handy fairly regularly. May see if I can find one with no knife.

Dnarever wrote on Apr 15^th, 2026 at 10:05pm:

Bobby. wrote on Apr 15th, 2026 at 8:20pm: DNA, Quote: It is legal to carry for reason - like work or camping etc. Not legal to just have one in your pocket for no reason. You can carry a tool that doesn't include a knife. In Victoria you can't even have a micro pocket knife half the size of your little finger on a car keyring - it could mean serious jail time. The internet seems to be saying its the same as other states. You can carry with reason. I may have to take the small one off my key ring. I have been carrying it for at least 15 years. It comes in handy fairly regularly. May see if I can find one with no knife.

I remember the head copper of NSW at the time saying it wouldn't affect anyone else and it was to decrease knife crime in western Sydney, I said to my wife "load a crap it will be rolled out everywhere.", 6 months later an old woman returning to Kyogle, where I lived, from Sydney on the train had her pocket knife confiscated, can't cut your apple with that deadly weapon. Another 6-12 months later a friends's daughter's BF was done for one of those tiny key ring knives. In country NSW where 2 years before no-one would look sideways at someone walking down the main street with a .22.

Dnarever wrote on Apr 15^th, 2026 at 10:05pm:

Bobby. wrote on Apr 15th, 2026 at 8:20pm: DNA, Quote: It is legal to carry for reason - like work or camping etc. Not legal to just have one in your pocket for no reason. You can carry a tool that doesn't include a knife. In Victoria you can't even have a micro pocket knife half the size of your little finger on a car keyring - it could mean serious jail time. The internet seems to be saying its the same as other states. You can carry with reason. I may have to take the small one off my key ring. I have been carrying it for at least 15 years. It comes in handy fairly regularly. May see if I can find one with no knife.

I'm an old fart, of this I am aware.
But I remember a time when, as a boy scout, we carried a pocket knife everywhere we went.
From about 12 years on, I have had a knife on my belt.
My father, from 13 when he started work, always had a pocket knife in his pocket, 90 years.

Up until about 5 years ago, I carried a multitool of various types, basic Victorinox multi tooled pocket knife through to the top of the line leatherman and Victorinox Spirit x.

But the grubberment has deemed knives to be the problem, not the person carrying them.

In my volunteer rescue job, we "must" carry a knife for operational reasons.
In my work ( before retirement) a multitool wasan absolute must.
When I bush walk or travel, a multitool is always on my person or at hand.

But everywhere else, I am not allowed to carry something I have carried for over 50 years.

People who use knives in knife crime, do not care about laws.
Just look at Victoria, the monkeys down there wander the streets with machete, and when caught are simply reprimanded.
But an honest tax payer is hounded through the courts for carrying a Vic classic?

I'd love to see the actual stats for knife crime in detail.
I'm willing to bet money that very, very few knife crimes ( if any) have been committed wit a multitool or Victorinox pocket knife.
I'd bet even bigger money that not one knife crime has been EVER committed with a Victorinox classic ( the 1 inch long knife)

The stupidity goes even further with our grubberment.
I have seen people harassed terribly at airports for nail files, Nial clippers sand even tiny screwdrivers used to adjust eyewear.
Even having anything metallic without a blade sets them off.
But in business class, you get metal cutlery with your dinner.......how stupid is that?

Unfortunately, I don't see any possibility of change.
The grubberment loves control,and any opportunity to exercise this will never be refunded.
The plethora of cops and officials with nazi opinions is increasing and they look for any opportunity to boost their flagging manhood, or penis envy.

It's a sad, sad world when a very useful tool cannot be carried by a law abiding person, because the grubberment is too stupid, lazy and scared to punish those who misuse the tools rather than just blanket ban them.

Valkie,

Quote:

But everywhere else, I am not allowed to carry something I have carried for over 50 years.

It gets worse in Victoria -
you can't even have a micro sized pocket knife in the car tool box in the boot of your car -
along with your socket set and spanners.
I wonder if anyone is in jail for that?

Bobby. wrote on Apr 16^th, 2026 at 7:49am:

Valkie, Quote: But everywhere else, I am not allowed to carry something I have carried for over 50 years. It gets worse in Victoria - you can't even have a micro sized pocket knife in the car tool box in the boot of your car - along with your socket set and spanners. I wonder if anyone is in jail for that?

Gee I think they will have a real hissy fit if they check the back of my car when travelling.
I have chainsaw in the back.

What about the cutlery in the caravan, am I going to be arrested for them?
There are some serious knives in the cutlery drawer.

My tool kit has all manner of tools including screw drivers, Stanley knives and assorted other tools.
These are kept in locked drawers in the vehicle, but as I am well aware, Victorian Nazis, oops police, are always looking for an easy arrest.
They avoid actual criminals, because they might present a danger.

It's just as well the Bondi terrorist attack didn't happen in Victoria,
The cops would still be hiding under their beds pretending they didn't know it was happening.
WOKE, scared and incompetent, Victoria has the lot.

Valkie wrote on Apr 16^th, 2026 at 5:24pm:

Bobby. wrote on Apr 16th, 2026 at 7:49am: Valkie, Quote: But everywhere else, I am not allowed to carry something I have carried for over 50 years. It gets worse in Victoria - you can't even have a micro sized pocket knife in the car tool box in the boot of your car - along with your socket set and spanners. I wonder if anyone is in jail for that? Gee I think they will have a real hissy fit if they check the back of my car when travelling. I have chainsaw in the back. What about the cutlery in the caravan, am I going to be arrested for them? There are some serious knives in the cutlery drawer. My tool kit has all manner of tools including screw drivers, Stanley knives and assorted other tools. These are kept in locked drawers in the vehicle, but as I am well aware, Victorian Nazis, oops police, are always looking for an easy arrest. They avoid actual criminals, because they might present a danger. It's just as well the Bondi terrorist attack didn't happen in Victoria, The cops would still be hiding under their beds pretending they didn't know it was happening. WOKE, scared and incompetent, Victoria has the lot.

You'd be looking at life behind bars just for the Stanley knife in your toolbox.   :o

Bobby. wrote on Apr 16^th, 2026 at 6:14pm:

Valkie wrote on Apr 16th, 2026 at 5:24pm: Bobby. wrote on Apr 16th, 2026 at 7:49am: Valkie, Quote: But everywhere else, I am not allowed to carry something I have carried for over 50 years. It gets worse in Victoria - you can't even have a micro sized pocket knife in the car tool box in the boot of your car - along with your socket set and spanners. I wonder if anyone is in jail for that? Gee I think they will have a real hissy fit if they check the back of my car when travelling. I have chainsaw in the back. What about the cutlery in the caravan, am I going to be arrested for them? There are some serious knives in the cutlery drawer. My tool kit has all manner of tools including screw drivers, Stanley knives and assorted other tools. These are kept in locked drawers in the vehicle, but as I am well aware, Victorian Nazis, oops police, are always looking for an easy arrest. They avoid actual criminals, because they might present a danger. It's just as well the Bondi terrorist attack didn't happen in Victoria, The cops would still be hiding under their beds pretending they didn't know it was happening. WOKE, scared and incompetent, Victoria has the lot. You'd be looking at life behind bars just for the Stanley knife in your toolbox.   :o

No wonder Victoria is in such a state.

Honestly, how the hell do those absolute deadbeats keep getting elected?

Is Victoria full of retards?

Valkie wrote on Apr 16^th, 2026 at 7:55pm:

No wonder Victoria is in such a state. Honestly, how the hell do those absolute deadbeats keep getting elected? Is Victoria full of retards?

The IQs are very low here in Victoria -

less than half the people can read and write in English.

Sprintcyclist wrote on Apr 14^th, 2026 at 3:04pm:

A few weeks ago I wanted to buy a new tool. Not no use for one and could not find the right shiny new  toy to buy. Thought, ' they should make tools that look good for people to buy but do no task.' It'ld have to be good looking, shiny, with a fine worm drive. Anything else you want on it? It needs a name too.

maybe made from polished aluminium? 

Bobby. wrote on Apr 16^th, 2026 at 8:00pm:

Valkie wrote on Apr 16th, 2026 at 7:55pm: No wonder Victoria is in such a state. Honestly, how the hell do those absolute deadbeats keep getting elected? Is Victoria full of retards? The IQs are very low here in Victoria - less than half the people can read and write in English.

I remember, a few years ago, I was travelling with a friend to Perth for work.
While there we decided to wander through the local shopping centre for lunch.

What I saw and was later told shocked me to the core.
There were at least 6 family groups of dark skinned people dressed in ethnic gear with several deformed and disabled children.
When I spoke to a work colleague later that day, she informed me that there was a lot of disabled immigrants in Perth.
Her husband worked at the welfare office and told her of the daily applications for welfare for not one or two, but the entire family of a disabled child or children.
Think on it.
These people come to Australia and immediately hit the welfare office for a free ride and every sort of welfare opportunity available.
They have never worked here.
They have never paid taxes.
They have never contributed
Yet they get everything for free.

Our country is full of imbicils in the senior public service.

Yes Valkie,

and -

https://blog.alor.org/australian-university-degrees-are-already-near-worthless-mass-production-rampant-cheating-and-the-death-of-standards-by-professor-x

Australian University Degrees are Already Near Worthless:
Mass Production, Rampant Cheating, and the Death of Standards, By Professor X.