Position vacant: Hamas Leader
Location: A pile of rubble
Contract length: 3 months max
Benefits offered: Death benefits and funeral plan

It shouldn't be too hard to fill the vacancy -

they have to find someone in Gaza who hates Jews
and doesn't mind dying in the next month or so.

they want to go to paradise and shag virgins.

they are in a co-dependant , dom sub relationship with the israelis.

they are in fact, in love with the israelis

aquascoot wrote on Oct 18^th, 2024 at 1:11pm:

they want to go to paradise and shag virgins. they are in a co-dependant , dom sub relationship with the israelis. they are in fact, in love with the israelis

Martyrs get:

72 virgins,
a palace with 3 swimming pools,
a truckload of whisky &
a box of Cuban cigars.

It sounds like a good deal and there have been no warranty claims.

Possible replacements for Yahya Sinwar include Khaled Meshaal and Khalil al-Hayya

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Two of the likely candidates reside in Qatar, a key US ally. Joe Biden will likely come under pressure to pursue the extradition of the leaders in the coming days, while Hamas is expected to seek assurance from Doha that they will be allowed to remain.

Also, Yahya Sinwar’s brother, Mohammed, is still believed to be alive, hiding from Israeli forces in Gaza.

Mohammed is considered a key strategist in Hamas’ operations inside Gaza

He was appointed as commander of Hamas’ Khan Younis brigade in 2005 and took part in the kidnapping of Israeli soldier Gilad Shalit in 2006 from Israel into Gaza.

Sinwar’s brother currently commands Hamas’ southern brigade and is a member of the military council of the group’s military wing.

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Another one.

Moussa Abu Marzouk is amongst the founders of Hamas and was elected the group’s first political leader in 1992.

He has lived in several countries over the years, including the US where he was jailed for 22 months. He was later expelled from both Jordan and Syria, and currently resides in Qatar.

In 2013, Marzouk was appointed a deputy under Meshaal, tasked with handling all external issues of Hamas.

He has given several interviews to Israeli media since Oct 7, often downplaying the atrocities and refusing to admit the mass killing of civilians.

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I believe it’s a good thing these evil masterminds are dead but we need be rid of them all, when do we take out bibi?

Bobby. wrote on Oct 18^th, 2024 at 1:14pm:

aquascoot wrote on Oct 18th, 2024 at 1:11pm: they want to go to paradise and shag virgins. they are in a co-dependant , dom sub relationship with the israelis. they are in fact, in love with the israelis Martyrs get: 72 virgins, a palace with 3 swimming pools, a truckload of whisky & a box of Cuban cigars. It sounds like a good deal and there have been no warranty claims.

Hmmm, as a Christian I get to face my maker, have all my sins put on display and explain why I shouldn’t be sent to hell to suffer for them?

I kinda feeling I lost out in the religious choice here😵‍💫

aquascoot wrote on Oct 18^th, 2024 at 1:11pm:

they want to go to paradise and shag virgins.

That can only happen a maximum of once per virgin. 72 Virgins? 20 days?

Daves2017 wrote on Oct 18^th, 2024 at 2:13pm:

Bobby. wrote on Oct 18th, 2024 at 1:14pm: aquascoot wrote on Oct 18th, 2024 at 1:11pm: they want to go to paradise and shag virgins. they are in a co-dependant , dom sub relationship with the israelis. they are in fact, in love with the israelis Martyrs get: 72 virgins, a palace with 3 swimming pools, a truckload of whisky & a box of Cuban cigars. It sounds like a good deal and there have been no warranty claims. Hmmm, as a Christian I get to face my maker, have all my sins put on display and explain why I shouldn’t be sent to hell to suffer for them? I kinda feeling I lost out in the religious choice here😵‍💫

No - St Peter will follow privacy legislation.

Bobby. wrote on Oct 18^th, 2024 at 3:24pm:

Daves2017 wrote on Oct 18th, 2024 at 2:13pm: Bobby. wrote on Oct 18th, 2024 at 1:14pm: aquascoot wrote on Oct 18th, 2024 at 1:11pm: they want to go to paradise and shag virgins. they are in a co-dependant , dom sub relationship with the israelis. they are in fact, in love with the israelis Martyrs get: 72 virgins, a palace with 3 swimming pools, a truckload of whisky & a box of Cuban cigars. It sounds like a good deal and there have been no warranty claims. Hmmm, as a Christian I get to face my maker, have all my sins put on display and explain why I shouldn’t be sent to hell to suffer for them? I kinda feeling I lost out in the religious choice here😵‍💫 No - St Peter will follow privacy legislation.

Oh no! His woke now too?

I’m thinking I just put my hand up and straight to Purgatory?

Maybe two lifetimes off for saving the courts time?

Ffs, I seriously shouldn’t be taking this lightly 🫣