UnSubRocky wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 11:34pm:
aquascoot wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 5:01pm:its great to see you owning the problem rocky and i'll tell you why.
if you think the problem exists outside of yourself then how can you fix it?
you cant
all you can do is see yourself as a victim |
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I have seen myself as a perpetrator of my own diet for the last 34 of my last 44 years of life. I cannot really blame myself for when I was in single digit age for what diet I had. Mum and Dad fed me what they could afford. I presented myself as a glutton for food. But, I was nowhere near as gluttonous as I was when I reached my 30s. My teenage years were the time where I could eat what I wanted and not get all that fat. But, I did get to look at some photos Mum and Dad found of when I was a teenager. It was like I was a different person back then. There was a photo I saw of myself being somewhat obese in my teens. I did not remember being that fat in my teens. But, I do recall Mum giving me meal replacement shakes and then getting told to go for a jog more often. I think I basically burned off the excess weight in about 2 months.
I looked in the mirror the other night at a face I could barely recognise. I had been really down and out for the last few months. I don't know what it was -- perhaps the realisation that I have to make major changes quickly in my life, so that I can move into my middle years financially and emotionally secure. But it took taking the wrong supplement with a few hours later evening bottle of scotch that had me feeling like I was ready for a heart attack the next morning, for me to realise that I had to change my health status immediately.
I am not happy with the way my life has been over the last 15 years. I wish I could restart my last 20 years and do it right, instead of feeling sorry for myself. Heck, I would not mind going back 30 years and trying to get ahead in life from that point.
I don't know what it was that triggered me lately. Maybe it was the 5-figure bank account balance I had 18 months ago that slowly diminished due to my casual spending. Or maybe it was the massive financial hit I got when my car's engine had to be replaced. Goodness me, though. It was enough for me to stop boozing and casual spending on rubbish to only just begin (this last month) being frugal.
Thank you for the talk, aqua. But, I have to admit that the last 4 years are completely my own undoing. The "undoing" of the good work I did back in 2014/2015 when I was well on my way to being physically fit. But, I have rediscovered that feeling just in the last few months (other than the other week's big hiccup) to just go without drowning my problems with booze and comfort eating. |
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rocky
life is really one turd after another being laid at your doorstep
the turds never stop coming
we are actually here on planet earth, i beleive , to transcend the turds
to train ourselves so that we are no longer affected by the turds
what happens, happens and couldnt have happened any other way because it didnt
the lessons never end
the car engine blowing up is just another turd in a series of turds
now, if you get all sad and feel sorry for yourself when the car engine blows up, then its back to square 1 . (though i note you wisely accepted this and used it to move up...well done)
if you do get sad and upset at the engine blowing up , you may start drinking to numb the pain, you may get in an arguement with your wife because you are pissed off, hell, you may get a road rage attack and end up inprison.
the turds are designed to make you grow.
you HAVE ro look at them like weights in the gym
heavy hard painful, designed to break you but if you voluntarily pick them up and accept the challenge, you get stronger and they get weaker.
and then a funny thing happens
the turds seem to diminish.
by adopting the right attitude to turds, the universe seems to say "we dont need to send that guy more turds, he's learning the lesson"
i cant figure out exactly why that is but i do know this
if you try to lead the easy life, if you try to dodge personal responsibility, if you look to government to save you , if you go for the easy option, spending money you shouldnt, drinking when you shouldnt, eating crap when you shouldnt , having an affair instead of being loyal , you go down and down and down
the easy route is nearly always the wrong route
love it when its hard
love the pain
pain is like the turds, it is inevitable
if the turd comes and you dont accept it (if the engine blows and you dont accept it), guess what
you suffer twice, the turd is still there (the engine is still blown) AND you are suffering thru non-acceptance .
non acceptance of reality is called suffering
suffering is totally on you, its a choice , you never ever have to suffer, you just have to recognise pain
