Let's offend everyone...

I came out of the chip shop with a meat/potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage.
A poor homeless man, sitting there, said, “I've not eaten for two  days.”
I  told him, “I wish, I had your will power!”

I took my biology exam last Friday.
I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells.
Apparently "young blacks" and "Romanian gypsies" were not the correct  answers.

A fat girl took a while to serve me in McDonald's at lunch time today.
She said, “Sorry  about the wait.”
I said, “Don't worry dear. You might lose it eventually.”

I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop, as I went into the bank.
When  I came out, he looked at me and said, “Any  change?”
I said “No, you're still black”.

Snow in the forecast!
The TV weather girl said, she was expecting 8 inches tonight.
I thought to myself, "Fat chance with a face like that!"

An  Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road.
A man asks him, “What’s wrong?”
The boy says,“Me ma is dead”. 
“Oh bejaysus," the man says.
“Do you want me to call Father O'Riley for you?”
The boy replies, “No tanks mister. Sex is the last ting on me mind at the moment..”

Years ago it was suggested, that an apple a day kept the doctor away.
But since all the doctors are now Muslims, I've found that a bacon sandwich works better !

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such an immensely fast shutter-speed, that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth shut.

I hate all this terrorist business.
I used to love the days, when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or a bus,  and think to yourself, "I'm gonna take that!"

Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland.
He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts down to him, “Where am I ?”
The Irish farmer looks back up and shouts back, "You can't fool me. You're in that basket up there."

I  had a Trivia Competition in the bag until the very last question,----which I got wrong.
The question was, "Where do women have the curliest hair ?"
Apparently the correct answer was Fiji .

A  woman has a medical at the doctors...
“You are grossly overweight,” he says.
"I want a 2nd opinion,” she exclaims.
"OK. You're bloody ugly as well.”
 
 
  That should more or less offend everyone -- job done!

https://7img.net/users/3715/71/50/82/smiles/849331425.gif

The only way we can ever be a free society is if everyone, black, white, yellow, Downs Syndrome, sociopaths, cowardly and brave are forever offended.

And we should all be naked too.

What do you call twenty First Nations in a prison cell? A mobile.

I actually had a good laugh at those jokes.

Its a shame the terminally offended cannot see the funny side.

But I guess they are all to stupid to see how stupid they are.

;D ;D ;D

I found every punchline predictable, like really bad stand-up.

I laughed at the jokes but funnier is that you normally try to be more offensive than this without trying.

issuevoter wrote on Apr 2^nd, 2021 at 8:59am:

I found every punchline predictable, like really bad stand-up.

oh come on issue  we need to crack a smile now and then....its getting where we will need a lawyer  on stand by soon   because you can take everything the wrong way these days.....when we lose our sense of humor there is little hope left!

Dnarever wrote on Apr 2^nd, 2021 at 9:00am:

I laughed at the jokes but funnier is that you normally try to be more offensive than this without trying.

So you 'laugh' at yourself. Yes yes, you are somewhat of a joke........

Fuzzball wrote on Apr 2^nd, 2021 at 10:13am:

Dnarever wrote on Apr 2nd, 2021 at 9:00am: I laughed at the jokes but funnier is that you normally try to be more offensive than this without trying. So you 'laugh' at yourself. Yes yes, you are somewhat of a joke........

You often aim your posts for shock value based on their level of offensive content ? I know it is your style of humour but it is what you do Fuzzy.

Dnarever wrote on Apr 2^nd, 2021 at 10:37am:

Fuzzball wrote on Apr 2nd, 2021 at 10:13am: Dnarever wrote on Apr 2nd, 2021 at 9:00am: I laughed at the jokes but funnier is that you normally try to be more offensive than this without trying. So you 'laugh' at yourself. Yes yes, you are somewhat of a joke........ You often aim your posts for shock value based on their level of offensive content ? I know it is your style of humour but it is what you do Fuzzy.

I'm very pleased they get to you Puddle Duck........now piss off and torment somebody else you wanker.

Does anyone reckon that Fuzzball sounds like IQ?

Bobby. wrote on Apr 2^nd, 2021 at 10:51am:

Does anyone reckon that Fuzzball sounds like IQ?

And now we have the little obsequious limp wrist weasel opening his infantile trap.......

Fuzzball wrote on Apr 2^nd, 2021 at 10:53am:

Bobby. wrote on Apr 2nd, 2021 at 10:51am: Does anyone reckon that Fuzzball sounds like IQ? And now we have the little obsequious limp wrist weasel opening his infantile trap.......

Further evidence for the prosecution -   ;D

Bobby. wrote on Apr 2^nd, 2021 at 10:55am:

Fuzzball wrote on Apr 2nd, 2021 at 10:53am: Bobby. wrote on Apr 2nd, 2021 at 10:51am: Does anyone reckon that Fuzzball sounds like IQ? And now we have the little obsequious limp wrist weasel opening his infantile trap....... Further evidence for the prosecution -   ;D

So says the gay old 'man' who sniffs round this forum looking for anything to make the arsehole (him/it) relevant.   ;D

issuevoter wrote on Apr 2^nd, 2021 at 8:59am:

I found every punchline predictable, like really bad stand-up.

Jeez - that's offensive....

issuevoter wrote on Apr 2^nd, 2021 at 8:59am:

I found every punchline predictable, like really bad stand-up.

My post succeeded then.........to make it easy for simple minded people to 'find it predictable'......... ;)

an abbo walked into an employment agency and asked for a job.

The guy behind the desk said I have the perfect job for you.
It pays $200,000.00 a year and you get 8 weeks a year off plus a car and free flights all over the world.

The abbo says, Your kidding.

The guy behind the desk says....well you started it.

Boom Boom

Or is that Bong Bong

An Abo walks into a bar.... should've watched where that cell door was...

Abo and a dog walk into a bar.. barman holds up his hand:-

"Sorry, mate - can't have him in here!"

The dog say:- "Is it all right if I chain him on the verandah then?"

An Aboriginal was walking along the beach when he found a bottle. He thought that he might be able to sell it and make some money so he started cleaning it up, rubbing it with his sleeve.

All of a sudden a genie popped out and said, "I will grant you three wishes, but wish carefully."

So the Aboriginal says, "I would love to be white!"

POOF!! He becomes white!

"For my second wish, I would love to be rich."

POOF!! He becomes rich, and is dressed in designer clothes and has a nice car.

"Okay" says the genie, "what is your third wish?"

"Hmm" says the Aboriginal, "this is something I have always wanted. I never want to have to work again!"

"Okay." says the genie.

POOF!! He is turned back into an Aboriginal!

A blonde goes into the beauty and hair parlor with her walkman on her head.

"I need to take that walkman off your head," says the beauty specialist as she notices the blonde.

"You can't! I'll die!" retorts the blonde.

"I can't cut your hair with the walkman on your ears!" says the beauty specialist getting annoyed.

"I said you can't take it off, or I'll die!"

The beauty specialist, outraged and flustered, grabs the walkman and throws it off the head of the blonde.

Within seconds, the blonde dies.

When the specialist picks up the walkman to listen, she hears it repeating "breath in, breath out, breath in".

Fuzzball wrote on Apr 2^nd, 2021 at 10:58am:

Bobby. wrote on Apr 2nd, 2021 at 10:55am: Fuzzball wrote on Apr 2nd, 2021 at 10:53am: Bobby. wrote on Apr 2nd, 2021 at 10:51am: Does anyone reckon that Fuzzball sounds like IQ? And now we have the little obsequious limp wrist weasel opening his infantile trap....... Further evidence for the prosecution -   ;D So says the gay old 'man' who sniffs round this forum looking for anything to make the arsehole (him/it) relevant.   ;D

IQ - you're busted.  ;D

A Muslim with a palm branch walks into a synagogue......  then I woke up...

I am shaking my head here... :D :D

issuevoter wrote on Apr 2^nd, 2021 at 8:59am:

I found every punchline predictable, like really bad stand-up.

Agreed, I would probably have found them slightly humorous in the school yard, but not now that I'm an adult

I am not offended or even surprised....Right wing arse holes being racist scumbags is par for course on this site....Says more about them than those they vilify....The funniest thing is how they deny their racist scumbags in the first place....Pathetic racist losers the lot of you....Grow up!!!

::) ::) ::)

https://humanrights.gov.au/our-work/racial-vilification-law-australia

cods wrote on Apr 2^nd, 2021 at 9:37am:

issuevoter wrote on Apr 2nd, 2021 at 8:59am: I found every punchline predictable, like really bad stand-up. oh come on issue  we need to crack a smile now and then....its getting where we will need a lawyer  on stand by soon   because you can take everything the wrong way these days.....when we lose our sense of humor there is little hope left!

Yet when people call you a silly old drunk you get offended....Why not laugh it up you drunken old bint???

:-? :-? :-?

philperth2010 wrote on Apr 3^rd, 2021 at 2:03pm:

cods wrote on Apr 2nd, 2021 at 9:37am: issuevoter wrote on Apr 2nd, 2021 at 8:59am: I found every punchline predictable, like really bad stand-up. oh come on issue  we need to crack a smile now and then....its getting where we will need a lawyer  on stand by soon   because you can take everything the wrong way these days.....when we lose our sense of humor there is little hope left! Yet when people call you a silly old drunk you get offended....Why not laugh it up you drunken old bint??? :-? :-? :-?

Calling Cods a drunk is definitely not funny.

The_Barnacle wrote on Apr 3^rd, 2021 at 10:47am:

issuevoter wrote on Apr 2nd, 2021 at 8:59am: I found every punchline predictable, like really bad stand-up. Agreed, I would probably have found them slightly humorous in the school yard, but not now that I'm an adult

Sad to get old, eh?  I may have a few years on you yet, but when I grow up, it will be a very sad old world.

Neferti wrote on Apr 3^rd, 2021 at 2:58pm:

philperth2010 wrote on Apr 3rd, 2021 at 2:03pm: cods wrote on Apr 2nd, 2021 at 9:37am: issuevoter wrote on Apr 2nd, 2021 at 8:59am: I found every punchline predictable, like really bad stand-up. oh come on issue  we need to crack a smile now and then....its getting where we will need a lawyer  on stand by soon   because you can take everything the wrong way these days.....when we lose our sense of humor there is little hope left! Yet when people call you a silly old drunk you get offended....Why not laugh it up you drunken old bint??? :-? :-? :-? Calling Cods a drunk is definitely not funny.

Such a concept is laughable ........

philperth2010 wrote on Apr 3^rd, 2021 at 2:00pm:

I am not offended or even surprised....Right wing arse holes being racist scumbags is par for course on this site....Says more about them than those they vilify....The funniest thing is how they deny their racist scumbags in the first place....Pathetic racist losers the lot of you....Grow up!!! ::) ::) ::) https://humanrights.gov.au/our-work/racial-vilification-law-australia

Shouldn't be too long now before the policy of denunciation as enemies of the state will permit you to put a stop to such evil beings..... anyone named will be sent to the Morrison Village for re-education and sensitivity re-training ..... you extremists are all the same under the skin....

Now - take the piss out of someone, will you?  If they get pissy about it - then it is automatic that they need to have the piss taken, right?

Touchy-touchy.  Now lea' me alone - I'm working on putting together a trip to Thailand, India, Kathmandu, Tibet, Kazakhstan, and China...   8-)  gotta work on the old prejudices before I go, neh?

If an Abo and a Leb are in a car together - who does the driving?

The police....

Sir Grappler Truth Teller OAM wrote on Apr 3^rd, 2021 at 3:25pm:

Neferti wrote on Apr 3rd, 2021 at 2:58pm: philperth2010 wrote on Apr 3rd, 2021 at 2:03pm: cods wrote on Apr 2nd, 2021 at 9:37am: issuevoter wrote on Apr 2nd, 2021 at 8:59am: I found every punchline predictable, like really bad stand-up. oh come on issue  we need to crack a smile now and then....its getting where we will need a lawyer  on stand by soon   because you can take everything the wrong way these days.....when we lose our sense of humor there is little hope left! Yet when people call you a silly old drunk you get offended....Why not laugh it up you drunken old bint??? :-? :-? :-? Calling Cods a drunk is definitely not funny. Such a concept is laughable ........

Nothing wrong with being a drunk....I actually like Cods and respect her right to have an opinion I do not agree with!!!

[smiley=beer.gif] [smiley=beer.gif] [smiley=beer.gif]

Sir Grappler Truth Teller OAM wrote on Apr 3^rd, 2021 at 4:32pm:

If an Abo and a Leb are in a car together - who does the driving? The police....

This is a troll thread....Thank you for your contribution!!!

::) ::) ::)

What do you call and Abo who says he has a job? - Liar

Why are abos call Boongs? - It is the sound they make when they hit the roo bar.

What do you call an abo in a suit? - defendant

You missed offending baby's

What is black and white and rolls around the backyard? - A baby covered in funnel webs

What is blue and yellow and lies at the bottom of a pool? - A baby with the floaties slashed

What did the dingo say to the other dingo sitting outside a tent? - Do we eat in or take away?

Why do the Irish have all the potatoes and the Arabs all the oil? - The Irish had first pick

How to you confuse and Irishman? - get him a piece of paper with P.T.O on both sides

Why are camels called the "ships of the desert"? - They are full of Arab Seamen (sp?)

philperth2010 wrote on Apr 3^rd, 2021 at 10:35pm:

Sir Grappler Truth Teller OAM wrote on Apr 3rd, 2021 at 4:32pm: If an Abo and a Leb are in a car together - who does the driving? The police.... This is a troll thread....Thank you for your contribution!!! ::) ::) ::)

YET HERE YOU ARE....

philperth2010 wrote on Apr 3^rd, 2021 at 10:33pm:

Sir Grappler Truth Teller OAM wrote on Apr 3rd, 2021 at 3:25pm: Neferti wrote on Apr 3rd, 2021 at 2:58pm: philperth2010 wrote on Apr 3rd, 2021 at 2:03pm: cods wrote on Apr 2nd, 2021 at 9:37am: issuevoter wrote on Apr 2nd, 2021 at 8:59am: I found every punchline predictable, like really bad stand-up. oh come on issue  we need to crack a smile now and then....its getting where we will need a lawyer  on stand by soon   because you can take everything the wrong way these days.....when we lose our sense of humor there is little hope left! Yet when people call you a silly old drunk you get offended....Why not laugh it up you drunken old bint??? :-? :-? :-? Calling Cods a drunk is definitely not funny. Such a concept is laughable ........ Nothing wrong with being a drunk....I actually like Cods and respect her right to have an opinion I do not agree with!!! [smiley=beer.gif] [smiley=beer.gif] [smiley=beer.gif]

I agree and she is very good at it.

Neferti wrote on Apr 3^rd, 2021 at 2:58pm:

philperth2010 wrote on Apr 3rd, 2021 at 2:03pm: cods wrote on Apr 2nd, 2021 at 9:37am: issuevoter wrote on Apr 2nd, 2021 at 8:59am: I found every punchline predictable, like really bad stand-up. oh come on issue  we need to crack a smile now and then....its getting where we will need a lawyer  on stand by soon   because you can take everything the wrong way these days.....when we lose our sense of humor there is little hope left! Yet when people call you a silly old drunk you get offended....Why not laugh it up you drunken old bint??? :-? :-? :-? Calling Cods a drunk is definitely not funny.

Of course not. It's only funny when it's the tinted folk that we are making jokes about

The_Barnacle wrote on Apr 4^th, 2021 at 9:39am:

Neferti wrote on Apr 3rd, 2021 at 2:58pm: philperth2010 wrote on Apr 3rd, 2021 at 2:03pm: cods wrote on Apr 2nd, 2021 at 9:37am: issuevoter wrote on Apr 2nd, 2021 at 8:59am: I found every punchline predictable, like really bad stand-up. oh come on issue  we need to crack a smile now and then....its getting where we will need a lawyer  on stand by soon   because you can take everything the wrong way these days.....when we lose our sense of humor there is little hope left! Yet when people call you a silly old drunk you get offended....Why not laugh it up you drunken old bint??? :-? :-? :-? Calling Cods a drunk is definitely not funny. Of course not. It's only funny when it's the tinted folk that we are making jokes about

only the usual suspects.....you may have noticed..... ::).. humor doesnt have time for the sensitive

have you ever seen an Iranian comedian???   Omid Djslili   one of the funniest guys on the planet..


as for being called a drunk....nef its about as funny as being called a paedophile... :-/

The_Barnacle wrote on Apr 4^th, 2021 at 9:39am:

Neferti wrote on Apr 3rd, 2021 at 2:58pm: philperth2010 wrote on Apr 3rd, 2021 at 2:03pm: cods wrote on Apr 2nd, 2021 at 9:37am: issuevoter wrote on Apr 2nd, 2021 at 8:59am: I found every punchline predictable, like really bad stand-up. oh come on issue  we need to crack a smile now and then....its getting where we will need a lawyer  on stand by soon   because you can take everything the wrong way these days.....when we lose our sense of humor there is little hope left! Yet when people call you a silly old drunk you get offended....Why not laugh it up you drunken old bint??? :-? :-? :-? Calling Cods a drunk is definitely not funny. Of course not. It's only funny when it's the tinted folk that we are making jokes about

cods is tinted now?  Tinteds with the silly sensitivities are so easy to take the piss out of...

How do Abos and Mussos and such sneak past Olympic drug tests?

You can't take the piss out of Abos and Mussos and such...

Believe it - an Aborigine told me that one, re Abos only - while I was buying at his business...just goes to show, eh?  Up this way we treat our Koons the same as everyone else - and some of them are fine folk.

Some of you could learn to laugh at yourselves occasionally.... form of autism, innit??

You know,.

As I'm a white, Anglo Saxon,  hetrosexual, successful, retired, contributing male.

And as every part of that offends someone.

I have decided that I no longer give a flying fig about anyone.

Tried it today, some shela wasn't watching where she was walking, I just kept going and bumped into her.
No apologies, I just kept walking.

The darkie outside the shop begging for change, got some advice, "Get a job ya bludger"
He was quite rude about it.

It's fun.

Sir Grappler Truth Teller OAM wrote on Apr 4^th, 2021 at 12:00pm:

The_Barnacle wrote on Apr 4th, 2021 at 9:39am: Neferti wrote on Apr 3rd, 2021 at 2:58pm: philperth2010 wrote on Apr 3rd, 2021 at 2:03pm: cods wrote on Apr 2nd, 2021 at 9:37am: issuevoter wrote on Apr 2nd, 2021 at 8:59am: I found every punchline predictable, like really bad stand-up. oh come on issue  we need to crack a smile now and then....its getting where we will need a lawyer  on stand by soon   because you can take everything the wrong way these days.....when we lose our sense of humor there is little hope left! Yet when people call you a silly old drunk you get offended....Why not laugh it up you drunken old bint??? :-? :-? :-? Calling Cods a drunk is definitely not funny. Of course not. It's only funny when it's the tinted folk that we are making jokes about cods is tinted now?  Tinteds with the silly sensitivities are so easy to take the piss out of... How do Abos and Mussos and such sneak past Olympic drug tests? You can't take the piss out of Abos and Mussos and such... Believe it - an Aborigine told me that one, re Abos only - while I was buying at his business...just goes to show, eh?  Up this way we treat our Koons the same as everyone else - and some of them are fine folk. Some of you could learn to laugh at yourselves occasionally.... form of autism, innit??

some is quite cruel  and quite unnecessary  as well...

being spiteful is completely different to being amusing. >:(

Anyway - to return to the theme..

Amurikan Soul Brotha is diddy-boppin' along da beach, an' find a bottle in da sand.....

He rub dat motha to clean 'im up, an out pop dat genie!

"Yo, mah man", say dat genie, "yo' got three wishes!"

"O....KAY!  Ah wanna be a rich dude!"

(poof) done....

"Ah wanna have dat big house wit' all dem Wharte servant, yo hear!"

(poof) done......

"Now - Ah wanna be White, Tight and Outta Sight!"

(poof) the genie turns him into a tampon.......

Remember,

A very true statement.

PEOPLE CANNOT OFFEND YOU

ONLY YOU CAN BE OFFENDED.