Australian Politics Forum

Suffer the 16 longest seconds of your life watching Bill Shorten try to scull a schooner

VIDEO: Shorty done in by a beer

After a whopping 16 seconds spent nursing it down his gullet with all the speed of a glacier, Bill Shorten finally managed to put away a single schooner of lager yesterday, Junkee reports.

In a world where the consumption of an onion stops a nation and world record holding beer scullers take office, this is just not good enough.

More tax paid in this beer Shorten sculled then paid by entire offshore gas industry

Red faced, teary eyed and as still as the grave, Bill Shorten has revealed a major shortcoming in his non-existent ability to scull a beer.

While the unstoppable, outlandish and utterly legendary Bob Hawke managed to knock back a pint in 11 seconds at the cricket, Shorten takes a painstaking 16 seconds to do the same with a schooner.

Plus, I never thought I’d say the words, but this made me miss Tony Abbott. At least he was good entertainment.

http://hhhhappy.com/suffer-the-16-longest-seconds-of-your-life-watching-bill-shorten-try-to-scull-a-schooner/

And Shorty is even weirder insulting a hot dog

It's a good thing Shorty didn't insult Bob Hawke's new brew.

Bill Shorten Took 16 Seconds To Down A Beer; Bob Hawke Would Be Deeply Unimpressed
by TOM CLIFT 9 APRIL 2017

Glug Glug splutter coff coff burp!!!!

Earlier this week, Malcolm Turnbull shocked and appalled the nation after turning down a sausage sizzle sausage. “What kind of man, what kind of true blue, fair dinkum Aussie would refuse a tasty snag?” we all asked ourselves. Somewhere, a koala fell out of a tree, stone dead.

The Snag That Stopped A Nation: A Brief Guide To Malcolm Turnbull's Career Ending Blunder

Keen, it would seem, to capitalise on Turnbull’s blunder, Bill Shorten has spent most of his week touring rural towns affected by Cyclone Debbie, campaigning against cuts to penalty rates and doing his best to seem like a dinky die top bloke. And what’s more dinky die top blokey than sculling a beer? If there’s one thing Australian’s love even more than scarfing down sausages, it’s casually abusing our bodies with alcohol.

On Tuesday evening at the Blackwater Hotel in northern Queensland, Shorten was filmed demolishing a schooner of beer. Although I use the word ‘demolishing’ fairly loosely, since it took him more that 16 seconds to do so.

Look, 16 seconds is by no means disgraceful, but it’s not going to inspire punters at the ballot box, either. Bob Hawke is still necking them faster than that, and he’s in his late eighties. Point is, you’re never going to get a beer named after you with a performance like that Bill. That’s all I’m saying.

http://junkee.com/bill-shorten-took-16-seconds-beer-bob-hawke-deeply-unimpressed/101476

It was probably XXXX, that would explain it.

All sizzle no sausage Malcontent!

Juliar, i do believe Mr Shortens forehead is getting bigger.
i would recommend a skull xray to check for any abnormalities.
he may not fit in a normal xray unit but my local vet has a unit that can do big horses heads so he should be right to have the test done there.

while he is having his test , i could read him some inspirational personal development stuff to try and get him moving up in the world. as a member of the noble right , i feel obligated to help this "lost sheep"

I am glad juliar you are focusing on the big issues.

Prime Minister for Canyons wrote on Apr 11^th, 2017 at 10:13am:

I am glad juliar you are focusing on the big issues.

Juliar doing all she can to throw up distractions to cover up for coalition's continuous failings.

More garbage threads from garbage troll. Every time.

aquascoot wrote on Apr 11^th, 2017 at 9:23am:

Smell the fear

Aqua,

you don't think Frankenstein foreheaded Shorty is getting a swelled head ?

Maybe he is doing too much pooch smooching with that Goddamn ugly dog with the squashed in head

aquascoot wrote on Apr 11^th, 2017 at 9:23am:

You could start by not taking the low road and making a complete dickhead of yourself???

:-? :-? :-?

stunspore wrote on Apr 11^th, 2017 at 10:47am:

Prime Minister for Canyons wrote on Apr 11^th, 2017 at 10:13am:

I am glad juliar you are focusing on the big issues.

Juliar doing all she can to throw up distractions to cover up for coalition's continuous failings.

More garbage threads from garbage troll. Every time.

yeah reminds us of the budgie smugglers...how many threads on that.. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Bills looking his age these days.

philperth2010 wrote on Apr 11^th, 2017 at 11:01am:

aquascoot wrote on Apr 11^th, 2017 at 9:23am:

You could start by not taking the low road and making a complete dickhead of yourself???

:-? :-? :-?

bill is in "low vibration energy".
he eats bad food, i doubt he exercises, he tends to complain a lot, he seems ungrateful for the marvellous achievements of australian business and wants to team up with unions in always whining and being a bit sooky .
he tells people that he identifies with their "rough little lives" rather then tell them they live in the land of opportunity.

all in all, he sends all the wrong messages.

someone in "low vibration" wouldnt be able to hear a positive motivational and inspirational story of self improvement. they have made an identity out of failure.

people have a set point for where they see themselves at.
bill vibes with failure , he is a living failure, and since the majority of the electorate are pretty mediocre, they will vibe with bill.

i could never get thru to them...they are simply lost and they will live mediocre lives and if you try to show them a bigger picture for themselves, they will feel threatened and go on the attack. they "deserve" a leader like bill and i'm sure thats what they will be getting.
you dont attract what you want, you attract what you are.
mediocrity and failure are the norm buddy.

Ghouls, Frankenstein Forehead Shorten is at your service.

Wonder if the chemist can give something to stop me coffin ?

Geez he looks crook. Do you think it is terminal ? The bulging Frankenstein forehead looks like a Venetian blind.

Gasp rattle croak!!!

Setanta wrote on Apr 11^th, 2017 at 9:06am:

It was probably XXXX, that would explain it.

if it was, to his credit he finally managed to drink it all.

2019 Headlines

Bill Shorten Australia's new PM

Labor win in the landslide of all landslides

Liberals win one seat

First chance he gets this Shorten dickhead is going to pull our borders down. How is that going to help the economy and create jobs?

LW is drinking Socialist Propaganda brew again. You'd think he'd be patriotically quaffing Hawkey's drop.

Now who has Shorty been earbashing ?

Parliamentary Reports Reveal Bill Shorten Really Needs To Upgrade His Phone Plan
by JACKSON BARRON 22 MARCH 2017

Yap Yap Yap!!

How many federal politicians have you texted this week?

If the answer is “none of them” then you missed your one opportunity. It turns out the Department of Parliamentary Services accidentally published the private phone numbers of nearly all federal MPs. Once they were notified of the issue they pulled down the documents, but we still found them pretty easily.

RELATED
We Found The Private Phone Numbers Of Nearly All Fed MPs Even After They Were Apparently Deleted

But the bigger surprise is how much our MPs are spending on their phones. Bill Shorten, who has clearly never heard of capped price phone bills before, spent a staggering $107,600 on phone usage in the 18 months, including nearly $40,000 from January to June in 2016 (the most recent period in which data is available). That’s an average of of nearly $6,000 a month.

The Department of Parliamentary Services publishes the Parliamentarians’ Mobile Telecommunication and Data Services Expenditure report every six months. Even though the individual reports of each MP have been pulled off the site (because they contained everyone’s phone numbers) the total amount spent is still up there and Shorten’s mammoth bill tops the list of MPs’ spending.

Shorten is followed by ex-PM Tony Abbott, who jumped from a standard $116 a month while prime minister, to paying $2097 a month once he was relegated to the backbench. Clearly he’s whinging to someone on the moon for losing his perch atop the Liberal Party.

Liberal MP Andrew Robb retired from politics at the last federal election, and in his final six months in office he racked up $10,000 in mobile phone bills. He must have been responding to all those messages thanking him for his fruitful 12-year career.

Sir John Gorton was prime minister between 1968 and 1971. He passed away in 2002, yet he still has a $27 phone bill. It’s actually being incurred by his widow, Nancy, which is apparently a thing. He also has a $1,186 printing bill — also at the expense of his wife, also somehow a thing.

But how are they spending so much money? It can’t be data — there’s free WiFi in Parliament House, and, even in Shorten’s huge bills, the data costs sit constantly at $68/month leaving the majority of his spending coming from general phone usage.

Federal politicians are on corporate mobile and data plans provided through Telstra. It allows them to use their phone anywhere, including overseas — but unlike personal plans, the cost isn’t capped. Because politicians themselves don’t pay the bill (the public does) there’s no incentive for them to minimise cost. They can go on a trip to Paris, call their mates for late-night chats and bill the taxpayer.

But just because politicians can rack up expensive phone bills doesn’t mean they should. There are surely better options.

A simple Google search reveals that you can get unlimited calls, texts and a large amount of data from pretty much every mobile provider. And it will cost you far less than $6,000 a month.

For example, Telstra will charge you $195 a month for unlimited national and international calls and texts plus 30GB of data. They’ll even chuck in a handset. Compared to Bill Shorten’s expenditure that’s a saving of over $100,000 over 18 months.

Or there’s Amaysim who will swing him a SIM (so he can keep his own phone) with 9GB of data and unlimited national calls for just $49.90 a month. What about international calls? They can jump on WiFI and use Facetime, Skype or email like everyone else.

It might even help them relate to us normal people a little bit better.

http://junkee.com/parliamentary-reports-reveal-bill-shorten-really-needs-upgrade-phone-plan/98944

Its time wrote on Apr 11^th, 2017 at 11:51am:

2019 Headlines

Bill Shorten Australia's new PM

Labor win in the landslide of all landslides

Liberals win one seat

Are you going to promise that you'll leave the forum for good if Labor loses the election, or are you going to promise then show your total lack of integrity when you have to leave just like your buddy haemorrhoid?

Fuzzball wrote on Apr 11^th, 2017 at 1:19pm:

Its time wrote on Apr 11^th, 2017 at 11:51am:

2019 Headlines

Bill Shorten Australia's new PM

Labor win in the landslide of all landslides

Liberals win one seat

Labor will win next election

Hawkey held the world record for skulling a yard glass of beer, a true legend before political correctness took hold.

LW sings the Labor patriotic song, Dream Dream Dream, all I have to do is dream.

In the mean time Malcolm and Pauline are so far ahead of Shorty they are lost in the distance.

But Mal looks after Shorty by telling Newspoll to keep giving him ridiculous boosts just to keep him there.

This political stuff is just SO corrupt isn't it misleading the paw Leftie sole like that ?

Well, Malcolm and the party couldn't handle a hot dog stand at the races without all that propping up with government money and organised rorts, just like their business mates who need government loans and government guarantees for shooting some fish in a barrel, such as a personal railroad or a private road - all handed to them by the government in the first place.

Private enterprise is more efficient is a crock.... it's only more efficient at tearing big holes out of the ordinary person's pocket, thus creating upward pressure on wages and spiralling costs ever upward until the whole deal collapses like the lead balloon it is in reality.

Johnnie wrote on Apr 11^th, 2017 at 8:34pm:

Hawkey held the world record for skulling a yard glass of beer, a true legend before political correctness took hold.

Every Rugby club has its yard of beer....

Did Hawkey have a rainbow yawn after he sculled the meter of grog ?

Maybe Shorty has a weak stomach and that's why he insults hotdogs and beer.

Mal didn't even try !

Australian Politics Forum
http://www.ozpolitic.com/forum/YaBB.pl General Discussion >> Federal Politics >> Extra! Shorty can't handle a hotdog OR a beer http://www.ozpolitic.com/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1491811188 Message started by juliar on Apr 10^th, 2017 at 5:59pm