Got anything on your mind you want to share- I know there is one here who needs to talk because her mother is very ill and she is going through a very tough time.  I have been in that place and I'm sure others here have as well..

my mum has been gone for a while now.. and its something you always miss.. your mum..my mum told naughty jokes...caused lots of giggles..she was a smashing cook..wish she was here...life of the party at 50 she could do the splits...I love you mum

Lost my father 24 years ago, leaves a hole. Currently trying to help a mutual friend of mine and Agnes who is slowly dying from smoke related illnesses.

I HATE tobacco companies, the Pushers in Suits as I call them. Half of the dreadful TPP is to allow the Pushers in Suits to overturn tobacco controls and to allow Big Pharma to charge us MUCH more for medicines. Scum the both of them and the politicians who want to bring the TPP (and TiSA) into force!

Been crying too much here lately.

You know, the real girl behind this id is a very independent and tough girl who's had to cope with a lot of cr@p in her life.

But she always bounced back.

Yep, I made sure I always bounced back. No matter what it was. Why? Because I didn't want my mum to worry.

But this time, I don't know if I can bounce back.

No. That's not true. I already know I won't.

Is it possible to ever get over losing your dad or your mum?

I think the answer is no.

Anyway....I best get back to my mum.

Cheers

Lisa Jones wrote on Sep 3^rd, 2015 at 12:03pm:

Been crying too much here lately. You know, the real girl behind this id is a very independent and tough girl who's had to cope with a lot of cr@p in her life. But she always bounced back. Yep, I made sure I always bounced back. No matter what it was. Why? Because I didn't want my mum to worry. But this time, I don't know if I can bounce back. No. That's not true. I already know I won't. Is it possible to ever get over losing your dad or your mum? I think the answer is no. Anyway....I best get back to her. Cheers

  You do Lisa but it takes time - I never experienced death in my famiy until I lost 1st my mum and then shortly after my father- ( 5 years apart). I was a very young mother at the time so it impacted very hard- keep in touch with good friends accept any love extended to you- it is a very humbling, very tough time .

sorry Monk I mis read your post -

my problem when I lost my dearest friend my husband I wouldnt let go...I was in limboland for about 5 years after..dull and aching all over hardly a smile no interest...everything was an effort...I know he wouldnt have wanted me to live like that...I was working at the time so a bit of distraction...but its hard...yep I still cry  my mum and dad both passed away overseas...so the pain wasnt so lingering...I do worry about my daughter when its my turn to turn up my toes....she gets upset even if we mention  it..so I cant go anywhere just yet...

so I feel very much for lisa if you have a special bonding with your mum and dad....be strong for your mum lisa..

crying is a good outlet its not a weakness .

Tears are good, they help.

Can't think of much that will fix it, but tears help

Ok Agnes, no matter. We do misread or misinterpret sometimes, no biggie.

Lisa Jones wrote on Sep 3^rd, 2015 at 12:03pm:

Been crying too much here lately. You know, the real girl behind this id is a very independent and tough girl who's had to cope with a lot of cr@p in her life. But she always bounced back. Yep, I made sure I always bounced back. No matter what it was. Why? Because I didn't want my mum to worry. But this time, I don't know if I can bounce back. No. That's not true. I already know I won't. Is it possible to ever get over losing your dad or your mum? I think the answer is no. Anyway....I best get back to my mum. Cheers

stay strong .... for your mum and your kids. ;)

cods wrote on Sep 3^rd, 2015 at 6:39pm:

my problem when I lost my dearest friend my husband I wouldnt let go...I was in limboland for about 5 years after..dull and aching all over hardly a smile no interest...everything was an effort...I know he wouldnt have wanted me to live like that...I was working at the time so a bit of distraction...but its hard...yep I still cry  my mum and dad both passed away overseas...so the pain wasnt so lingering...I do worry about my daughter when its my turn to turn up my toes....she gets upset even if we mention  it..so I cant go anywhere just yet... so I feel very much for lisa if you have a special bonding with your mum and dad....be strong for your mum lisa.. crying is a good outlet its not a weakness .

Ok.

Tell me...please. Do you want to die knowing your daughter is strong, capable and ok to carry on from where you left off? Is that what older mums yearn for ... deep inside ... to be able to go in peace knowing that their daughter/s have the necessary skills and abilities to continue being THE NEXT CAPABLE MUM of the family?

If so, I don't think I'm ready for this. I have big shoes to fill you know. My mum's a much better cook and gardener...despite my damnest efforts in both areas over the past few years.

Believe you me....I'm totally exhausted trying to prove to my mum and younger siblings how capable I am at everything I put my hand to. My husband and kids too.

I'm just exhausted. I don't think I can keep this up. How my mum has been able to do so for so many years, as a widow, is absolutely beyond my comprehension.

Mum never had any of the conveniences we take for granted today.

What a bastard of a job she's had...the poor thing.

And I'm only just realising that other mums around her age/stage in life who are pushing 70, must have had a bastard of a time too.

God I feel so unworthy  :'(

This is such a good topic.

Thank you to all you dear people for it.

It's a haven for those of us who are hurting.

Lisa Jones wrote on Sep 4^th, 2015 at 9:46am:

cods wrote on Sep 3rd, 2015 at 6:39pm: my problem when I lost my dearest friend my husband I wouldnt let go...I was in limboland for about 5 years after..dull and aching all over hardly a smile no interest...everything was an effort...I know he wouldnt have wanted me to live like that...I was working at the time so a bit of distraction...but its hard...yep I still cry  my mum and dad both passed away overseas...so the pain wasnt so lingering...I do worry about my daughter when its my turn to turn up my toes....she gets upset even if we mention  it..so I cant go anywhere just yet... so I feel very much for lisa if you have a special bonding with your mum and dad....be strong for your mum lisa.. crying is a good outlet its not a weakness . Ok. Tell me...please. Do you want to die knowing your daughter is strong, capable and ok to carry on from where you left off? Is that what older mums yearn for ... deep inside ... to be able to go in peace knowing that their daughter/s have the necessary skills and abilities to continue being THE NEXT CAPABLE MUM of the family? If so, I don't think I'm ready for this. I have big shoes to fill you know. My mum's a much better cook and gardener...despite my damnest efforts in both areas over the past few years. Believe you me....I'm totally exhausted trying to prove to my mum and younger siblings how capable I am at everything I put my hand to. My husband and kids too. I'm just exhausted. I don't think I can keep this up. How my mum has been able to do so for so many years, as a widow, is absolutely beyond my comprehension. Mum never had any of the conveniences we take for granted today. What a bastard of a job she's had...the poor thing. And I'm only just realising that other mums around her age/stage in life who are pushing 70, must have had a bastard of a time too. God I feel so unworthy  :'(

NO lisa NO..I just want my daughter to be herself...we should all strive to be ourselves not carbon copies  I didnt work nearly as hard as mum seemed too...and thats the way it should be each generation has a different set of tools to work with..... today I reckon every mum is spoilt... yet I was a stay at home mum I just didnt have all the conveniences like the mums have today...so they probably think I was spoilt...

forget all that lisa life isnt a competition  its a set of values that we each put down and hope to pass on.. your mum has done a great job.. being Greek I am sure their are many siblings for you to enjoy   work together.. most mums I know want their family to get on with each other...be happy for each other...see all the kids jumping out of their skin...laughing.. not fighting...

your mum wants to be satisfied she has a girl
who can cope
who is her own person and not what someone else wants her to be....
someone who makes the right choices most of the time..
admits when she is wrong and says so..even to the kids....
treats people how she expects to be treated......

material things mean not much to us oldies...

we count our blessings in different ways...

show  your mum your love whilst you have her...show her what a great person she has brought up...and tell her how much you admire her and always will.

cods wrote on Sep 4^th, 2015 at 3:46pm:

Lisa Jones wrote on Sep 4th, 2015 at 9:46am: cods wrote on Sep 3rd, 2015 at 6:39pm: my problem when I lost my dearest friend my husband I wouldnt let go...I was in limboland for about 5 years after..dull and aching all over hardly a smile no interest...everything was an effort...I know he wouldnt have wanted me to live like that...I was working at the time so a bit of distraction...but its hard...yep I still cry  my mum and dad both passed away overseas...so the pain wasnt so lingering...I do worry about my daughter when its my turn to turn up my toes....she gets upset even if we mention  it..so I cant go anywhere just yet... so I feel very much for lisa if you have a special bonding with your mum and dad....be strong for your mum lisa.. crying is a good outlet its not a weakness . Ok. Tell me...please. Do you want to die knowing your daughter is strong, capable and ok to carry on from where you left off? Is that what older mums yearn for ... deep inside ... to be able to go in peace knowing that their daughter/s have the necessary skills and abilities to continue being THE NEXT CAPABLE MUM of the family? If so, I don't think I'm ready for this. I have big shoes to fill you know. My mum's a much better cook and gardener...despite my damnest efforts in both areas over the past few years. Believe you me....I'm totally exhausted trying to prove to my mum and younger siblings how capable I am at everything I put my hand to. My husband and kids too. I'm just exhausted. I don't think I can keep this up. How my mum has been able to do so for so many years, as a widow, is absolutely beyond my comprehension. Mum never had any of the conveniences we take for granted today. What a bastard of a job she's had...the poor thing. And I'm only just realising that other mums around her age/stage in life who are pushing 70, must have had a bastard of a time too. God I feel so unworthy  :'( NO lisa NO..I just want my daughter to be herself...we should all strive to be ourselves not carbon copies  I didnt work nearly as hard as mum seemed too...and thats the way it should be each generation has a different set of tools to work with..... today I reckon every mum is spoilt... yet I was a stay at home mum I just didnt have all the conveniences like the mums have today...so they probably think I was spoilt... forget all that lisa life isnt a competition  its a set of values that we each put down and hope to pass on.. your mum has done a great job.. being Greek I am sure their are many siblings for you to enjoy   work together.. most mums I know want their family to get on with each other...be happy for each other...see all the kids jumping out of their skin...laughing.. not fighting... your mum wants to be satisfied she has a girl who can cope who is her own person and not what someone else wants her to be.... someone who makes the right choices most of the time.. admits when she is wrong and says so..even to the kids.... treats people how she expects to be treated...... material things mean not much to us oldies... we count our blessings in different ways... show  your mum your love whilst you have her...show her what a great person she has brought up...and tell her how much you admire her and always will.

Awww thank you for your reply.

I've been online today waiting for you girls to post.

Well that's not entirely true, I've also done a lot of washing too lol.

Yesterday was full on with Mum. Today is my day of rest ie I get the chance to catch up on my own housework etc. It's my sister's turn today with Mum.

Tomorrow .... it's my turn again. We take turns helping out but even that's exhausting us both now.

Anyway, enough of that...this Sunday, we're celebrating Father's Day at Mum's place so we'll all be together.

Because my Dad passed away, Mum's been forced to double up as our Dad for many years. This means the four of us kids buy her presents on Father's Day too.

Naturally our husbands get a present too (that goes without saying).

So that's how Father's Day works in our family.

This year, all daughters and daughter-in-laws are preparing/bringing the tucker....all her favourite dishes. We're hoping this will encourage her to eat.

So yeah...it should be a good day. Hope the weather's good.

I just need to keep it together and not show how worried I am. It's going to be hard but I'm determined to be strong about that.

you have a very nice Fathers Day that sounds like a lovely idea...and a Happy Fathers Day to all the dads on here.. I am sure it will be a ripper...

cods wrote on Sep 4^th, 2015 at 8:15pm:

you have a very nice Fathers Day that sounds like a lovely idea...and a Happy Fathers Day to all the dads on here.. I am sure it will be a ripper...

thanks cods ... you too!

Johnsmith wrote on Sep 4^th, 2015 at 8:15pm:

cods wrote on Sep 4th, 2015 at 8:15pm: you have a very nice Fathers Day that sounds like a lovely idea...and a Happy Fathers Day to all the dads on here.. I am sure it will be a ripper... thanks cods ... you too!

Yep. Thanks and hmmm I might start a Happy Dad's day topic somewhere now  :)

Good weekend.... but way too busy.

My hubby needs a holiday.

I think I do too.

Hope you all had a pleasant weekend.

Very productive- gardening ( never ending with this rain ) and a bit of spring cleaning- and went to friends for a bbq on Sunday afternoon.. not a bad weekend. My son is coming home for Spring break- looking forward to that a lot  :)

The hand of fate is heavy now:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbgIBitqvHo