.. are high risk and hardly ever work out.

Do you agree/disagree?

If so/why .. if not/why not?

They are stupid, and most often the people involved are just too scared to let go.  

Too scared to let go of what Wesley?

The fear of the unknown? The fear of leaving everything behind and making the move?

Lisa Jones wrote on Mar 23^rd, 2011 at 12:15pm:

Too scared to let go of what Wesley? The fear of the unknown? The fear of leaving everything behind and making the move?

Leaving a steady job is the biggest problem.

Bobby. wrote on Mar 23^rd, 2011 at 12:37pm:

Lisa Jones wrote on Mar 23rd, 2011 at 12:15pm: Too scared to let go of what Wesley? The fear of the unknown? The fear of leaving everything behind and making the move? Leaving a steady job is the biggest problem.

Yes. That's quite true Bobby.

Leaving behind all your family and friends is another very big problem too.

Lisa Jones wrote on Mar 23^rd, 2011 at 1:32pm:

Bobby. wrote on Mar 23rd, 2011 at 12:37pm: Lisa Jones wrote on Mar 23rd, 2011 at 12:15pm: Too scared to let go of what Wesley? The fear of the unknown? The fear of leaving everything behind and making the move? Leaving a steady job is the biggest problem. Yes. That's quite true Bobby. Leaving behind all your family and friends is another very big problem too.

Family & friends are only as far away as an email or phone call.

Hmm .. a hard one Bobby.

It would be difficult to say that to a girl who's old fashioned, family oriented and European.

What about all those 'love' encounters that started with 'pen-pal' like situations in the old days - some as far as the other side of the world?

I think it extrodinary that 'love' should blossom from writing in such a way.
These days the "email" and internet tend to replace that manner of attachment over long distances.

All that does help to sustain the relationship but only for a limited time Jas.

Lisa Jones wrote on Mar 23^rd, 2011 at 9:23pm:

Hmm .. a hard one Bobby. It would be difficult to say that to a girl who's old fashioned, family oriented and European.

It depends how close you really want to be to your family.
I have personally lost contact with most members of my family.
As you get older your interests separate - you don't have anything in common
& they aren't interested in anything your doing & vica versa.
Sometimes it's better to get on with your own life
& leave the nest for good.

while maintaining a long distance reatonship you cannot form a short distance one.

When you are chatting to someone who might be a male in france, you will NOT meet the guy walking his dog down your local park.

Sprintcyclist wrote on Mar 24^th, 2011 at 11:45pm:

while maintaining a long distance reatonship you cannot form a short distance one. When you are chatting to someone who might be a male in france, you will NOT meet the guy walking his dog down your local park.

The laws of quantum physics and some aspects of String THeory says that you can

try and keep up with the latest developments  

i'm over "the latest developments"
it doesn't work for me, I'm not interested

If you want to meet someone, join the local club in something you are interested in.
You'll meet local real people who ALSO like playing backgammon or chess or bush walks or whatever.

And that's immesurably better than a virtual anything.

Sprintcyclist wrote on Mar 25^th, 2011 at 12:11am:

i'm over "the latest developments" it doesn't work for me, I'm not interested If you want to meet someone, join the local club in something you are interested in. You'll meet local real people who ALSO like playing backgammon or chess or bush walks or whatever. And that's immesurably better than a virtual anything.

true

nothing like organic flirting

unless its only sex youre after then I suppose a dedicated forum for that sort of thing would work - a virtual brothel

You're right in a way Lisa - it does 'sustain' the relationship.

But what 'relationship' are we talking about?

Are we talking about the 'Eve' relationship in regards to 'physical' contact (sex) and having children?
Or the 'Lilith' relationship in regards to 'mental' and creating something like what Dante found in Beatrice which resulted in the immortal "Divine Comedy"?
(I think Daniel Day-Lewis found the Lilith in Michelle Pfeiffer but Eve in Winona Ryder in a movie called "A Room with a View" ...i think?)
Dave Stewart and Annie Lennox with Eurythmics. Christopher Dean and Jane Torville with IceSkating.

If it were akin to the 'Lilithian', then long-distance is easily sustained and blossoms more-so thanks to the Internet.

...as for having a 'procreative' relationship in regards to kiddies, then long-distance ain't the go I guess.

I like this saying:

What do you get with a...
Smart Man & a Smart Woman = Romance
Smart Man & a Dumb Woman = Affair
Dumb Man & a Smart Woman = Marriage
Dumb Man & a Dumb Woman = Pregnant
;D

...Some people can consider this the x4 stages in their Relationships while others just stick with the one in a state of being.

The best Romance is never a sexual one. ;)

It_is_the_Darkness wrote on Mar 25^th, 2011 at 7:42am:

You're right in a way Lisa - it does 'sustain' the relationship. But what 'relationship' are we talking about? Are we talking about the 'Eve' relationship in regards to 'physical' contact (sex) and having children? Or the 'Lilith' relationship in regards to 'mental' and creating something like what Dante found in Beatrice which resulted in the immortal "Divine Comedy"? (I think Daniel Day-Lewis found the Lilith in Michelle Pfeiffer but Eve in Winona Ryder in a movie called "A Room with a View" ...i think?) Dave Stewart and Annie Lennox with Eurythmics. Christopher Dean and Jane Torville with IceSkating. If it were akin to the 'Lilithian', then long-distance is easily sustained and blossoms more-so thanks to the Internet. ...as for having a 'procreative' relationship in regards to kiddies, then long-distance ain't the go I guess. I like this saying: What do you get with a... Smart Man & a Smart Woman = Romance Smart Man & a Dumb Woman = Affair Dumb Man & a Smart Woman = Marriage Dumb Man & a Dumb Woman = Pregnant ;D ...Some people can consider this the x4 stages in their Relationships while others just stick with the one in a state of being. The best Romance is never a sexual one. ;)

Are you a virgin?

No.
But I have deflowered or liberated a 40 year old female virgin.
;)

It_is_the_Darkness wrote on Mar 25^th, 2011 at 10:23am:

No. But I have deflowered or liberated a 40 year old female virgin. ;)

and long did that process take - give or take a minute ??

I'm not 'fooled' by your need for erotic perverseness by default via this Forum, Topic, Post, etc.

It_is_the_Darkness wrote on Mar 25^th, 2011 at 10:23am:

No. But I have deflowered or liberated a 40 year old female virgin. ;)

I did NOT have sex with that man :P

Speaking of which .. anyone know where Clinton is these days?

I don't think it was you either Lisa,
...I was 10 years the junior too ;)

We all know that young (female) virgins are like "locked doors",
but when they are like 40 years of age on that level,
its like 'locked' and with wooden planks nailed across the door.

After the 7 months relationship, my liberated older girlfriend wanted to 'play the field' a bit, by which time I was most sad as I really had grown attached to her. :( She is happily married now, I've last heard.

It_is_the_Darkness wrote on Mar 27^th, 2011 at 8:50am:

I don't think it was you either Lisa, ...I was 10 years the junior too ;) We all know that young (female) virgins are like "locked doors", but when they are like 40 years of age on that level, its like 'locked' and with wooden planks nailed across the door. After the 7 months relationship, my liberated older girlfriend wanted to 'play the field' a bit, by which time I was most sad as I really had grown attached to her. :( She is happily married now, I've last heard.

10 years OLDER than you? I've never been able to understand men with older women.

Younger women  .. yes .. but with OLDER women??

Sheesh .. and SHE was the one who then cheated on you?? Ahh well she is happily married now .. and I am assuming you are too.

All's well that ends well then?

Lisa Jones wrote on Mar 28^th, 2011 at 12:07pm:

It_is_the_Darkness wrote on Mar 27th, 2011 at 8:50am: I don't think it was you either Lisa, ...I was 10 years the junior too ;) We all know that young (female) virgins are like "locked doors", but when they are like 40 years of age on that level, its like 'locked' and with wooden planks nailed across the door. After the 7 months relationship, my liberated older girlfriend wanted to 'play the field' a bit, by which time I was most sad as I really had grown attached to her. :( She is happily married now, I've last heard. 10 years OLDER than you? I've never been able to understand men with older women. Younger women  .. yes .. but with OLDER women?? Sheesh .. and SHE was the one who then cheated on you?? Ahh well she is happily married now .. and I am assuming you are too. All's well that ends well then?

Yes, true love must be dependent on superficial factors only - like age difference

;D

Since when was age a superficial factor?

It's a very imp't consideration in my opinion.

Your age reflects your life stage, maturity, experience, state of health .. etc.

It is impt .. and a very impt consideration as I said above.

Why do people like blondes who lay there like starfishes,
while other's prefer rangas that go like the clackers??

Why do people prefer skinny girls,
others volumptuous??

Why do others prefer much taller women,
while others prefer shorter women??

Why do some prefer women just for procreation,
while others prefer women just for pleasure??

...my interactions with some older women were based entirely upon 'character' and 'company' rather than age and looks. I also never needed 'money' as Toy-Boys tend to do. I never considered passing the 'retired' threshold though :P just like I would never pass  the 'minor' threshold with the youngsters. :P

I guess we see things differently (and for all sorts of reasons too).

As a woman .. I'd feel uncomfortable being with a younger man. He would be at a different stage in life .. and this would affect/reflect his expectations of me and our future.

Mind you .. being with an older men can yield the same sorts of problems too.

Being at the same age (give or take a yr or 2) and thus stage in life tends to engender more compatibility IMO.

Well that's how I see it.

Depends, you might find the younger male far more 'mature' than a male your age or older, or that he just happens to be far more 'endowed' than a male your age or older, taller, richer, mentally stable, etc.
I mean, would you be with someone of your own race although they are a pathetic specimen, rather than someone of higher quality from another race??

I found that when it came to relationships: I tried not to be too choosey because although she may not have been Miss Right, she was definately Miss Right Now. ;)

Sometimes older women date younger males because they 'sexually awaken' them a bit. Its no different to an older male teaching a younger female how to learn a musical instrument towards good things.

Sometimes older women date younger males because they 'sexually awaken' them a bit.

- Jas

I'm laughing at this sentence Jas.

One of the reasons why I've always preferred older men is because THEY know more/have experienced more and as such have been able to sexually awaken me. And not only sexually .. but intellectually too.

For me .. an older, intelligent man has always been an absolute turn on. Not sure if you know .. but at age 20 I was married to a 40 yr old lawyer.

It's amazing how we perceive things hey lol :)

I found that when it came to relationships: I tried not to be too choosey because although she may not have been Miss Right, she was definately Miss Right Now

- Jas

Oh ok. I'm pretty traditional and as such I'm more into permanent arrangements.  

Also for me .. a man has to be a potential Mr Right to get me to really notice him. If he isn't a potential candidate .. he will become and remain Mr Friend Only.

I'm married to a much younger female, but I don't think I could have "shown her a thing or two" in regards to sex if I was still a virgin.

There's so much "STUFF" on sex out there these days Jas so it's easy to learn about techniques etc.

Having said that .. I've never been with a male virgin. And I don't think I'd want to either. It would feel too awkward for me. Well that's my opinion in any event.

Interesting to note that you're now married to a much younger female given our discussion in this topic lol :)

It_is_the_Darkness wrote on Mar 29^th, 2011 at 1:57pm:

Depends, you might find the younger male far more 'mature' than a male your age or older, or that he just happens to be far more 'endowed' than a male your age or older, taller, richer, mentally stable, etc. I mean, would you be with someone of your own race although they are a pathetic specimen, rather than someone of higher quality from another race?? I found that when it came to relationships: I tried not to be too choosey because although she may not have been Miss Right, she was definately Miss Right Now. ;) Sometimes older women date younger males because they 'sexually awaken' them a bit. Its no different to an older male teaching a younger female how to learn a musical instrument towards good things.

I agree. I think the younger man has a lot to offer the more mature woman and vice versa. Men of a similar age tend to be getting a bit bored with life - and the same can apply to the woman, but a younger partner is often more sensitive, receptive and prepared to take chances.

Agree with you Mantra. I really had some great friendships and relationships with older women. We always found something better to connect with than just a difference of age.

I must say that I am dissapointed in women who feel the need for plastic surgery. It is really sad when women fail to recognise the 'beauty' that comes from within eventually.

I must say that I am disappointed in women who feel the need for plastic surgery. It is really sad when women fail to recognize the 'beauty' that comes from within eventually.

- Jas

Interesting remarks Jas.

My gorgeous hairdresser is my age ie 40 and she "looks" 27. Not much of her is real though .. and she is enslaved to the never ending process of procedure after procedure in an attempt to MAINTAIN previous work done.

She isn't happy (well that is what she tells me).

Food for thought hey.

Well, I think it depends on the cosmetic surgery that's being done. My best friend who had twins... had her stomach apron removed and she feels much better for it. I've had my breasts tidied up and enlarged from a b to a c cup and I feel great for it.

As to the face however... I'm not a fan. The look is nearly always plastic and expressions which make you, you, are lost. But again, if my eye lids began to drop and sag, I would correct that for cosmetic and practical reasons.

It just depends on what you are doing it for... a tidy up or a make over.

Thats the problem with this (over-populated) planet. No-one knows how to "grow old gracefully". The fear of such a death is twisting and rotting people from within.
I understand the need of a breast reduction, in regards to back-pain.
Such a job is justified. But to go through such 'vain' acts for just looking younger is just pathetic.
EG: Working in South-West Private Hospital. Case of two patients. One patient was 40-50 years of age and just recieved a Face-lift,etc. The other was a little old lady. For some reason, most staff preferred to attend to the buzzer of the little old lady, rather than the face-lift lady. Why? Because the little old lady with all her wrinkles was expressing a beauty that comes from the inside. The lady with the face-lift had the most hideous personality and ugly attitude - pure vanity.
Look beautiful and young for older people, not beautiful and young for younger people.
When I work with younger guys - I feel and act older/wiser. When I work with older guys - I feel and act younger/stronger. I play it as it comes with every day. I don't try to set it in stone like a control freak.

Most of these 'operations' and Medical procedures are emanating out of the USA (famed for ecstacy and crack, etc) . A nation that is more apt at winning wars than practicing good Medicine. Its a shame Australia follows such a nation Medically - just because they speak the same language ::) - pity really, because other (non-anglo saxon) nations speak English too and the USA is considered a 3rd World Medical nation. You don't see 1st World Medical nations like Switzerland, Cuba, Germany, Sweden endorse such pathetic operations.

Grow old gracefully my dears.
People will love you more for it in the long run when it matters most.

That was very thoughtfully written Jasignature.

It's amazing the risks some people take by putting themselves under the knife and anaesthetic for vanity - but each to their own. Obviously insecurity plays a big part in wanting to change your appearance, but being confident comes from within - not from the mask you wear.

I think those who are cosmetically enhanced look far worse in advanced years than if they had grown old gracefully. There always seems to be a body part on display that doesn't quite match the rest of them - reminiscent of something preserved in formaldehyde.

Delta Goodrem and that other UK dude have finally split. They blame distance, career, etc.

I guess Long Distance Relationships are a rare thing to achieve these days. Funny though - there are many couples getting together from a long distance originally because of such things as the Internet. USA woman marries NZ man thanks to Online Dating, etc.

Forget overseas relationships (I've been there so I know just how IMPOSSIBLE the situation is) .. even interstate relationships can be a bugger. Someone STILL has to make the move eventually. And that can be a REAL headache.

It's much easier to find/fall in love with someone who lives in your own city. What a pity LOVE doesn't work on that principle all the time.

Dante Allegheri never needed to 'be with' Beatrice. His love for her, he poured into his famous "The Divine Comedy" books. He married another woman to share his house, bed, children, etc. Beatrice married someone else, etc.

You can have a long distance 'relationship' with a woman, but I doubt it will be a sexual one. It doesn't need to be sexual to be love does it?

It_is_the_Darkness wrote on Apr 8^th, 2011 at 2:21am:

Dante Allegheri never needed to 'be with' Beatrice. His love for her, he poured into his famous "The Divine Comedy" books. He married another woman to share his house, bed, children, etc. Beatrice married someone else, etc. You can have a long distance 'relationship' with a woman, but I doubt it will be a sexual one. It doesn't need to be sexual to be love does it?

Being Beatrice AS WELL AS his wife and the mother of his children = my dream/objective/heart's desire.

I know .. I want it all lol :)

Lisa Jones wrote on Mar 23^rd, 2011 at 12:01pm:

.. are high risk and hardly ever work out. Do you agree/disagree? If so/why .. if not/why not?

I've done long distance relationship before and I thought it was a good idea having my gf in some other country and while I was here doing mr-nice-guy and not giving in to temptation but what the heck, it was just a waste since I've heard and seen on her pics she was hanging out with some person whom she meet and I was really pissed because of that since she removed her status on facebook to single instead of in relationship with..

So after that I never engaged in long distance relationship

I don't believe in a long distance relationships. Both of you needs someone to be there always not just an imagination

I think long distance relationships have extra hurdles to overcome.

I thank God that my husband and I originally lived close to each other. It just made everything so much easier for us  .. esp at the beginning.