Relationships (professional and personal) .. often break down .. and for all sorts of reasons.

This topic is about all that. Why? Because it's something all of us have experienced (either directly or indirectly).

What are your thoughts/opinions on why such breakdowns occur?

What is the best way to get through them? What has worked well for you/others you know?

Perhaps its un-natural for relationships to be eternally durable.

We are fighting against nature itself to maintain our relationships in  some sort of healthy state.

ALso as individuals we are changing constantly and so are the other people we are dealing with.

Maybe relationship breakdown and renewal is a healthy phenomenon?

I think you may be onto something there.

This awkward word "change" .. represents an inevitability of life.

Change affects every aspect/facet of our existence .. including the area of relationships.

Yet some relationships (not all) seem to be able to endure any type of change.

Wonder why that is?

Also as individuals we are changing constantly and so are the other people we are dealing with.

Maybe relationship breakdown and renewal is a healthy phenomenon?

- Foolosophy

This reminded me of a wedding I attended a few years back.

The wedding vows ended with the words as long as I am able to.

At the time a few of us were quite alarmed.

The marriage in question only lasted a few years. And I'm not sure that they really broke their vows either.

It's as if this aspect of change had been factored into their wedding vows based on the mutual capacity to endure each other.

Perhaps the couple were demonstrating their honest and realistic intentions/expectations of each other.

Wonder what this says about those of us who boldly promise to love, honour and cherish til death do us part?

Lisa Jones wrote on Mar 19^th, 2011 at 7:01pm:

I think you may be onto something there. This awkward word "change" .. represents an inevitability of life. Change affects every aspect/facet of our existence .. including the area of relationships. Yet some relationships (not all) seem to be able to endure any type of change. Wonder why that is?

Well even in nature there are examples of life long mating pairs - its rare but does occur - a good example is the Albatross birds who form a pair and mate for life - usually dying together

Life isnt that simple - it can throw all sorts of scenarios at us

Yes .. this is so true.

I quite loved the Albatross example. There's something very attractive and ever so beautiful for me about undying love ... irrespective of whether it occurs within the human or animal domains.

I wonder if it's because this represents an ideal.

Lisa Jones wrote on Mar 19^th, 2011 at 7:25pm:

Yes .. this is so true. I quite loved the Albatross example. There's something very attractive and ever so beautiful for me about undying love ... irrespective of whether it occurs within the human or animal domains. I wonder if it's because this represents an ideal.

There are 2 ways you an look at it though.

A romantic version where its an eternal pure love between two people that never dies - cant never be corrupted

Or perhaps its just a standard relationship between two people who are afraid to separate - in other words the relationship may well be dysfunctional and destructive but still they cling to their insecurities and fears.

I tend to think that there is a direct relationship between the amount of money and people attending a WEDDING and the probability of a future divorse

A directly proportional relationship - lol

Only relationship that are 'over-invested in' break down. They break down because they are over-invested in.

Over invested in??

What did you mean by that Soren?

Relationships that are overestimated, for whatever reason. People participate in them as if the relationship was more significant than it really is. People play act themselves into all sorts of relationships. Eventually, disillusionment arrives.

Interesting comments thus far - all of which are valid...

One thing that hasn't been mentioned thus far is competition - which seems to be a major ingredient for relationship disasters - because it tends to foster compounding resentment ...

Sometimes that competition is direct; other times it involves others - especially with a partner's parents, siblings or friends...

It is often associated with over-investment &/or possessiveness...

if you start a thread about relationship breakdowns guess what will happen to yours ...........

that's what you are stating and am focussed on

Soren wrote on Mar 20^th, 2011 at 3:59pm:

Relationships that are overestimated, for whatever reason. People participate in them as if the relationship was more significant than it really is. People play act themselves into all sorts of relationships. Eventually, disillusionment arrives.

Ahh right! Gotcha.

Equitist wrote on Mar 20^th, 2011 at 4:28pm:

Interesting comments thus far - all of which are valid... One thing that hasn't been mentioned thus far is competition - which seems to be a major ingredient for relationship disasters - because it tends to foster compounding resentment ... Sometimes that competition is direct; other times it involves others - especially with a partner's parents, siblings or friends... It is often associated with over-investment &/or possessiveness...

EXCELLENT POINT! SOOOO VALID too! Thanks for raising it.

Unfortunately .. I've got some personal experience in this area (my 1st marriage which is all ancient history now).

Briefly .. after studying and working my butt off for 3 yrs straight .. I was able to negotiate and secure this awesome HR promotion with the Managing Director of a certain multinational corp. It basically saw me earning the same salary package as my husband at the time. It came at a time when my husband was STILL waiting for his long awaited promotion to come through .. so for that particular time frame .. we were BOTH bringing home the same sized bacon (so to speak).

The problem was this: I was a 25 yr old woman whereas my husband was a 45 yr old man.

Bottom line? My husband gave me an ultimatum .. and I felt forced to resign in order to keep the peace. His terms were not negotiable and I HAD to choose btwn career or marriage.

Competition .. an interesting dynamic within ANY relationship for sure!

Sprintcyclist wrote on Mar 20^th, 2011 at 4:35pm:

if you start a thread about relationship breakdowns guess what will happen to yours ........... that's what you are stating and am focussed on

NO! Stop being superstitious and needlessly old fashioned medieval!

WE NEED to talk about this stuff Sprint .. and it's great to be able to share our opinions and experiences.

Why? We ALL learn from each other .. and there is a lot to be said for experiential knowledge!

There is nothing at all wrong with sharing what we know.

Lisa Jones wrote on Mar 20^th, 2011 at 5:16pm:

Sprintcyclist wrote on Mar 20th, 2011 at 4:35pm: if you start a thread about relationship breakdowns guess what will happen to yours ........... that's what you are stating and am focussed on NO! Stop being superstitious and needlessly old fashioned medieval! WE NEED to talk about this stuff Sprint .. and it's great to be able to share our opinions and experiences. Why? We ALL learn from each other .. and there is a lot to be said for experiential knowledge! There is nothing at all wrong with sharing what we know.

The boys in here jsut dont understand Lisa

We ladies must stick together sometimes - especially oin these issues

Huh? But you were a guy last week?

And what's with all the spelling/grammar mistakes today?

Weird ...

I'm back...and I think that the descriptor I was looking for earlier was 'power plays' rather than 'competition'..

A female friend of mine is a divorcee who has passive-aggressive tendencies and doesn't like staying home on weekend nights (when her kids are with their father) and she seems to choose control-freaking dickheads time and time again...

The only exception (other than her former husband) was a few years ago, when she had a significantly-younger boyfriend who was a bit of a sponger but (with the benefit of hindsight) they were probably soulmates (as well as highly-compatible bed-mates)...

With the others, the power plays have always seemed to start very early in the relationship and on-and-off-again volatility has been a dominant feature...

The one thing that they have had in common was their 'Barbie & Ken' grooming pretense in public - but these guys gave out mixed messages about her appearance (they wanted her to look good so that they could show her off to their mates but they've been insecure about her getting too close to those same mates - and they tended pick on her if she wore makeup at home)...

They've also had difficulty relating to her children (and sometimes to their own) - and they haven't been able to establish relationships with her son in particular (seemingly believing that they could drive a wedge between the boy and his mother - to the point of driving the boy away to live with his father so that they could lord over my friend and her daughter)...

Lisa Jones wrote on Mar 20^th, 2011 at 5:16pm:

Sprintcyclist wrote on Mar 20th, 2011 at 4:35pm: if you start a thread about relationship breakdowns guess what will happen to yours ........... that's what you are stating and am focussed on NO! Stop being superstitious and needlessly old fashioned medieval! WE NEED to talk about this stuff Sprint .. and it's great to be able to share our opinions and experiences. Why? We ALL learn from each other .. and there is a lot to be said for experiential knowledge! There is nothing at all wrong with sharing what we know.

"Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. "

Galatians 6:7

does your husband know you are posting threads on relationships breakingdown ?
do you care ?

Lisa Jones wrote on Mar 20^th, 2011 at 5:06pm:

Equitist wrote on Mar 20th, 2011 at 4:28pm: Interesting comments thus far - all of which are valid... One thing that hasn't been mentioned thus far is competition - which seems to be a major ingredient for relationship disasters - because it tends to foster compounding resentment ... Sometimes that competition is direct; other times it involves others - especially with a partner's parents, siblings or friends... It is often associated with over-investment &/or possessiveness... EXCELLENT POINT! SOOOO VALID too! Thanks for raising it. Unfortunately .. I've got some personal experience in this area (my 1st marriage which is all ancient history now). Briefly .. after studying and working my butt off for 3 yrs straight .. I was able to negotiate and secure this awesome HR promotion with the Managing Director of a certain multinational corp. It basically saw me earning the same salary package as my husband at the time. It came at a time when my husband was STILL waiting for his long awaited promotion to come through .. so for that particular time frame .. we were BOTH bringing home the same sized bacon (so to speak). The problem was this: I was a 25 yr old woman whereas my husband was a 45 yr old man. Bottom line? My husband gave me an ultimatum .. and I felt forced to resign in order to keep the peace. His terms were not negotiable and I HAD to choose btwn career or marriage. Competition .. an interesting dynamic within ANY relationship for sure!

bump

Lisa Jones wrote on Mar 20^th, 2011 at 6:37pm:

Huh? But you were a guy last week? And what's with all the spelling/grammar mistakes today? Weird ...

I didnt realise the typo - corrected my gender status.

Equitist wrote on Mar 20^th, 2011 at 8:11pm:

I'm back...and I think that the descriptor I was looking for earlier was 'power plays' rather than 'competition'.. A female friend of mine is a divorcee who has passive-aggressive tendencies and doesn't like staying home on weekend nights (when her kids are with their father) and she seems to choose control-freaking dickheads time and time again... The only exception (other than her former husband) was a few years ago, when she had a significantly-younger boyfriend who was a bit of a sponger but (with the benefit of hindsight) they were probably soulmates (as well as highly-compatible bed-mates)... With the others, the power plays have always seemed to start very early in the relationship and on-and-off-again volatility has been a dominant feature... The one thing that they have had in common was their 'Barbie & Ken' grooming pretense in public - but these guys gave out mixed messages about her appearance (they wanted her to look good so that they could show her off to their mates but they've been insecure about her getting too close to those same mates - and they tended pick on her if she wore makeup at home)... They've also had difficulty relating to her children (and sometimes to their own) - and they haven't been able to establish relationships with her son in particular (seemingly believing that they could drive a wedge between the boy and his mother - to the point of driving the boy away to live with his father so that they could lord over my friend and her daughter)...

Ohhhh .. your friend could do with some counselling by the sounds of things. I can understand the fact that she's lonely (post divorce) .. but she sounds as though she has a lot to learn about herself IF she wants a functional relationship experience.

Kids can/do complicate things esp in subsequent relationships (again why I would recommend some counselling).

I have to say .. I'm very fortunate in that my husband's children (from his 1st marriage) are independent, healthy, partnered adults who live busy professional lives .. and we get on real well. I also get on well with his 1st wife .. who is also happily partnered now. I guess things would be different had his children been younger and dependent.

Hmm .. I was just thinking about this competitive/power play factor which you've mentioned only because it's never featured much in my present marriage. Yet it basically defined my 1st marriage.

All I know is I feel comfortable and at ease with my present husband and he feels the same.  

Compatibility factor? Soul mate? Who knows ..

It works .. it just works .. and works well.

Hopefully it will remain this way.

Back to your friend though .. how have you been able to help your friend? Have you been able to approach her at all (and actually get through to her) in any way?

Sprintcyclist wrote on Mar 20^th, 2011 at 8:31pm:

Lisa Jones wrote on Mar 20th, 2011 at 5:16pm: Sprintcyclist wrote on Mar 20th, 2011 at 4:35pm: if you start a thread about relationship breakdowns guess what will happen to yours ........... that's what you are stating and am focussed on NO! Stop being superstitious and needlessly old fashioned medieval! WE NEED to talk about this stuff Sprint .. and it's great to be able to share our opinions and experiences. Why? We ALL learn from each other .. and there is a lot to be said for experiential knowledge! There is nothing at all wrong with sharing what we know. "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. " Galatians 6:7 does your husband know you are posting threads on relationships breakingdown ? do you care ?

SPRINT .. wtf is wrong with you?

Are you drunk this evening?

My husband is sitting next to me .. and we're both having a cuppa and watching HOUSE <-- my fav TV medical program.

As a matter of fact .. we've also spent some time discussing the issue of relationship breakdowns ourselves tonight because one of our close friends has recently separated from his wife.

WTF is YOUR wife tonight eh .. while you sit on here posting BS?

Lisa Jones wrote on Mar 20^th, 2011 at 8:58pm:

Ohhhh .. your friend could do with some counselling by the sounds of things. I can understand the fact that she's lonely (post divorce) .. but she sounds as though she has a lot to learn about herself IF she wants a functional relationship experience. Kids can/do complicate things esp in subsequent relationships (again why I would recommend some counselling). I have to say .. I'm very fortunate in that my husband's children (from his 1st marriage) are independent, healthy, partnered adults who live busy professional lives .. and we get on real well. I also get on well with his 1st wife .. who is also happily partnered now. I guess things would be different had his children been younger and dependent. Hmm .. I was just thinking about this competitive/power play factor which you've mentioned only because it's never featured much in my present marriage. Yet it basically defined my 1st marriage. All I know is I feel comfortable and at ease with my present husband and he feels the same.   Compatibility factor? Soul mate? Who knows .. It works .. it just works .. and works well. Hopefully it will remain this way. Back to your friend though .. how have you been able to help your friend? Have you been able to approach her at all (and actually get through to her) in any way?

I wish you and your new hubby well - it is truly a rare instance where a new wife can get along with an ex-wife (and presumably with the mutual husband) but this level of communication is probably a big positive...

As for my friend, I think she's looking in the wrong places - frequenting meat markets in pubs and clubs reduces the likelihood of having enduring common interests...

As to the counselling...well...one needs to be ready to listen and take a long hard look at oneself...

Suffice to say that I believe that people too close to a situation like this can do more harm than good - so the best that one can do is sow a few seeds when the mind is fertile and stand back and still offer support when the mind is over-run by toxic influences...

Thing is, she has a few good male friends but they're too soppy towards her and don't turn her on - and therefore she feels insecure and smothered in a different way...

Foolosophy you sure you are a woman cause you sure are double dog ugly or the sex change operation was a disaster.

Cheap ops in Thailand are just that. Cheap

As for my friend, I think she's looking in the wrong places - frequenting meat markets in pubs and clubs reduces the likelihood of having enduring common interests...

As to the counselling...well...one needs to be ready to listen and take a long hard look at oneself...

Suffice to say that I believe that people too close to a situation like this can do more harm than good - so the best that one can do is sow a few seeds when the mind is fertile and stand back and still offer support when the mind is over-run by toxic influences...

Thing is, she has a few good male friends but they're too soppy towards her and don't turn her on - and therefore she feels insecure and smothered in a different way...

- Equitist

Ahh right. Now you know why I asked how you've been able to help/support your friend. You can only say/do so much for a friend.

Some people just need to learn through bitter experience (the hard way).

Lisa Jones wrote on Mar 21^st, 2011 at 9:44am:

As for my friend, I think she's looking in the wrong places - frequenting meat markets in pubs and clubs reduces the likelihood of having enduring common interests... As to the counselling...well...one needs to be ready to listen and take a long hard look at oneself... Suffice to say that I believe that people too close to a situation like this can do more harm than good - so the best that one can do is sow a few seeds when the mind is fertile and stand back and still offer support when the mind is over-run by toxic influences... Thing is, she has a few good male friends but they're too soppy towards her and don't turn her on - and therefore she feels insecure and smothered in a different way... - Equitist Ahh right. Now you know why I asked how you've been able to help/support your friend. You can only say/do so much for a friend. Some people just need to learn through bitter experience (the hard way).

but remaining in a dysfunctional, non-nurturing relationship is the worse case scenario in my view.

learning through bitter experience is an outcome that is far more positive and generally leads to better life.

In Australia the official divorce rate is about 1 in every 2 marriages. In fact most of these break ups occur in the first two years.

I am surprised that the divorce rate is that low to be honest

If people were trully honest with their partner and more importantly with themselves, the divorce rate would be hovering around the 95% mark

learning through bitter experience is an outcome that is far more positive and generally leads to better life.

- Foolosophy

We all learn from each other .. by sharing what we've experienced.

If we then disregard the lessons of loss and of life as shared by others  .. then perhaps we may need to have a few bitter experiences ourselves before the penny drops and we finally see the light.

Foolosophy wrote on Mar 21^st, 2011 at 10:40am:

but remaining in a dysfunctional, non-nurturing relationship is the worse case scenario in my view. learning through bitter experience is an outcome that is far more positive and generally leads to better life. In Australia the official divorce rate is about 1 in every 2 marriages. In fact most of these break ups occur in the first two years. I am surprised that the divorce rate is that low to be honest If people were trully honest with their partner and more importantly with themselves, the divorce rate would be hovering around the 95% mark

I wonder what the separation rate would be for defactos. Of course defactos in Australia are 'just' in the majority now by a slim margin. I wonder if the institution of marriage somehow contributes to the breakups.  It would be interesteing to find out.

Ooh yeah .. now that IS a valid point Muso .. official divorce rates only tell part of the story in a society where many couples live together on a de facto basis.

Well I reckon that most relationships break down because of a lack of respect, and the growing resentment which inevitably follows.

People have their roles in a relationship, and the expectations that partners attach to the role they are given, or adopt, needs to be understood, and agreed upon by both, for a relationship to work.

I see some relationships, for want of a better word, where a successful man wants little more than something pretty to parade in public, and provide limited companionship, and in return he invests money into the relationship, and for a great many, this is enough.

At the opposite extreme you have those who are smitten with romantic tales of soul mates, and true love's kiss, and try to re-create a relationship of fairytale splendour, which too often does not lead to happily ever afters.

The relationships that work, are the ones where the partners value and respect the input of the other, but for that to have a chance, both parties need to contribute, and that is not always the case.
Sometimes it is just ignorance of what each partner brings to a relationship, where both do contribute, but through some personal flaw, some can over value their own input, while under valuing that of their partner, and if they do not change that perception, their relationships will always be doomed.

It is sad how many relationships fail, and I look forward to the day when people are educated differently, and greater effort is put into helping people better understand, and appreciate themselves, so they can better understand and appreciate others.

Very well put Mozza (as usual).

I was going to add this:

We can still be physically around the person we're in a relationship with .. but that doesn't necessarily guarantee that we're communicating with them on the same level. If there is a lack in respect (or some other issue) in the way .. then this barrier will prevent an effective communication flow.

It all comes down to this notion of quality IMO! Investing quality time, quality effort, quality commitment, quality communication, etc.

I was only having lunch with a very close friend down the south coast yesterday about all this. She spends a lot of her time in this area of relationships (as a Church Minister in that region).

I came away enriched and blessed by her insight. This notion of priorities .. came into the discussion.

We're in this awesome relationship which is low maintenance and runs on the smell of petrol like a faithful, reliable car  .. and after a while we take the situation for granted and we even begin to lose our sense of priority. It happens ever so gradually too .. so much so we hardly notice it.

Before we know it .. we find ourselves giving our quality time/effort etc to other things .. and by the time we get to nurturing our relationship with our significant other .. we've nothing much left.

So we give it what's left over .. our left over time, left over energy etc .. and people wonder why/how their relationship "suddenly" just  dies.

And your last paragraph hits the nail on the head Mozza .. education and awareness = the key.

mozzaok wrote on Mar 22^nd, 2011 at 10:56am:

Well I reckon that most relationships break down because of a lack of respect, and the growing resentment which inevitably follows.

I guess that relationships start off by both partners trying hard to impress - like preparing a special meal (that's not sexist because I consider myself to be a good cook) , making that extra effort, the occasional treat - flowers, or the anticipation of something special - something to look forward to whenever  they meet.

When they lose that spark - that effort on both sides and the anticipation, that's where relationships can break down.  If you keep the spark going, and as you say keep a level of respect for each other, it's more likely to last.

In the first 18 months of a relationship while the brain oxytocin concentration is high, if you can come down from the clouds for a moment, try to keep stock of the special things you do, and  try to maintain that for life.

I may not know Muso or Mozza personally .. but if their posts in here are anything to go by .. they must be BLOODY AWESOME guys!

Much respect for showing such insight!

Different political affiliations can be a problem for relationships .. esp around election time :(

Men can be such sooks when their party gets massacred loses!

Lisa Jones wrote on Mar 26^th, 2011 at 10:14pm:

Different political affiliations can be a problem for relationships .. esp around election time :( Men can be such sooks when their party gets massacred loses!

LOL...dunno if it is worse for those in a close relationship to agree 100% on politics or to be diametrically-opposed...

I expect that most of us, who are passionate enough to debate politics online, have to tread more carefully with our loved ones and friends...

Equitist wrote on Mar 26^th, 2011 at 10:21pm:

Lisa Jones wrote on Mar 26th, 2011 at 10:14pm: Different political affiliations can be a problem for relationships .. esp around election time :( Men can be such sooks when their party gets massacred loses! LOL...dunno if it is worse for those in a close relationship to agree 100% on politics or to be diametrically-opposed... I expect that most of us, who are passionate enough to debate politics online, have to tread more carefully with our loved ones and friends...

Hmm .. I think you might be right there!

All it took was ONE look at this headline .. and he got the s.hits with me lmao .. as if it was all my doing lol :)

http://www.smh.com.au/

Equitist wrote on Mar 26^th, 2011 at 10:21pm:

Lisa Jones wrote on Mar 26th, 2011 at 10:14pm: Different political affiliations can be a problem for relationships .. esp around election time :( Men can be such sooks when their party gets massacred loses! LOL...dunno if it is worse for those in a close relationship to agree 100% on politics or to be diametrically-opposed... I expect that most of us, who are passionate enough to debate politics online, have to tread more carefully with our loved ones and friends...

Perhaps that's why people debate online - a safe channel of interaction

Lord help me if my Rugby League team wins the Grand Final this year.

No doubt I'll be held responsible for that too I expect.

I wonder if I'll get the cold shoulder again.

Sheesh .. I had no idea men were this bad lol .. they're like little kids I tell you :)

Put a bean in a jar for every time you tear one off during the first year of marriage, then take one bean out for every time after the first year and it'll take you the rest of your life to empty the jar...

Sooner or later comes her farts in bed and her sh!t stains on the side of the bowl. ;D

I beg your pardon? I didn't understand any of that.

Nor could I relate to it on ANY level.

A woman is like a goddess in the cargo cult of desire.... But come the day she runs out of cargo...

Relationship breakdown is caused by communication breakdown.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8p6EuVCV3Zo

I always admire those people who marry their first love, mostly just after High School and have some children. You can tell straight away that no job, career, other male or female can tear this couple apart with seductions of money or sex.
They are strong in their marriage and love for one another.
Their behaviour to one another is amazingly great and I once picked a couple straight up (as being first time love/marriage) because of how they looked at one another after many years together, the way they spoke to one another and the way they acted when together.
They really were the best example of what 'True Love' is about.
I even expressed my admiration for them and their relationship. It was a testament to the very well behaved, happy and polite children.
They nodded sympathetically at my run of pathetic attempts at relationships that were basically based upon Lust and List (making notches on the bedpost, Ego, etc ....which equals = WANKER).
I have a mate with HIV (AIDS around the corner) who followed Lust, especially in Thailand, and now he is VERY LONELY as it is so difficult to find 'good company'. Alas, for him it is too late. :(

People who think they are superior because of many partners might in a way, be 'sexually' superior, but they are definately not superior when it comes to 'love'. I know Pink sings songs about 'Love', but in her real life, Career comes first before an orgasm.


Conclusion: I really regret not having hooked up with a decent beautiful girl when younger and making 'more' out of life with her.

...I can honestly say, if your partner has had x30 lovers before you - thats x30 times they will let you down in a day. ;)

Jas.

Quote:

Conclusion: I really regret not having hooked up with a decent beautiful girl when younger and making 'more' out of life with her.

That is absolute sentimental rubbish.
People change as the grow older & mature.
They develop different interests.
The girl you marry at 18 is a lot different by the time they are 40
& so are you.
They are not the same person you married.
Getting married too young is a recipe for disaster.

I've met many a couple that have 'come together' more-so via their lifelong marriage/relationship. They really sum up the saying "Together as One".

I think Bobby, that you take relationship advice from a defunct nation like the USA which has the highest Divorce rate in the world while condemning 3rd world nations for treating their women bad. These 3rd world nations must be doing something right - they outbreed USA 3/1.
:-?

It_is_the_Darkness wrote on Mar 27^th, 2011 at 10:02am:

I've met many a couple that have 'come together' more-so via their lifelong marriage/relationship. They really sum up the saying "Together as One". I think Bobby, that you take relationship advice from a defunct nation like the USA which has the highest Divorce rate in the world while condemning 3rd world nations for treating their women bad. These 3rd world nations must be doing something right - they outbreed USA 3/1. :-?

More rubbish - just because women are forced to breed or can't get hold
of contraception in 3rd world countries does not mean that they have a happy marriage.

Are you on drugs or something Jas?

Not even Viagra, although I saw boxes worth in an office I had to clean, while filling in for the Night Porters.

Just like the expectation of women forced to 'work' in jobs they don't like, because they can't find Mr Right and a Mr Right who allows them the luxury to have children and be apart of their children's lives.

Me thinks you are confusing 'the poverty' of the situation with mass-breeding situations.

A woman without a child, is like a man without a job ...and we all know what bum he is.

Just because Aussie females are forced to work to lower John Howards unemployment statistic and not have children so Kevin Rudd could say "We are better off in this economic situation than other nations" ...because we don't have as many mouths to feed.

It_is_the_Darkness wrote on Mar 27^th, 2011 at 11:51am:

A woman without a child, is like a man without a job ...and we all know what bum he is.

JuLiar is a barren woman - does that apply to her?

definately ...she is starting to behave a bit crazy.

Mind you, many Nuns take vows ...but they are 'consiously' committed to such an act, let alone Celibacy.

Gillard will be like Kidman, in denial - career first but when its practically 'too late', then she'll desperately go for children.
::)

It_is_the_Darkness wrote on Mar 27^th, 2011 at 12:07pm:

definately ...she is starting to behave a bit crazy. Mind you, many Nuns take vows ...but they are 'consiously' committed to such an act, let alone Celibacy. Gillard will be like Kidman, in denial - career first but when its practically 'too late', then she'll desperately go for children. ::)

Impossible - JuLiar is post menopausal.

How do you know that for certain?
Have you been sniffin her oily engine rags? :P

Edit: Bye - off to work at a dead end job now. But also working upon another money-making scheme with mates (not drugs) to get into the blue and allow my wife the luxury of not having to work and enjoying life with another child down the track.

My hat goes off to those 'fertile' women who can produce Twins and Triplets without the need for 'pills'.

There's a barren career orientated woman out there.
As well as a useless male that only made it 'big' in the Porn Industry.
::)

It_is_the_Darkness wrote on Mar 27^th, 2011 at 12:12pm:

How do you know that for certain? Have you been sniffin her oily engine rags? :P

It's called AGE  - she is 50 isn't she?

Bobby. wrote on Mar 27^th, 2011 at 12:58am:

Relationship breakdown is caused by communication breakdown. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8p6EuVCV3Zo

No one commented on this important video clip that explains everything.

...and an Artist will tell his wife to stop "nagging" and 'show' him that she loves him. Less talk, more action for the Medics too. ;)

It_is_the_Darkness wrote on Mar 28^th, 2011 at 10:33am:

...and an Artist will tell his wife to stop "nagging" and 'show' him that she loves him. Less talk, more action for the Medics too. ;)

Less talk and MORE ACTION eh lol ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYYqvrzC-bI&feature=related

As said early, animals can mate for life - their simplicitious beauty being wholething for humans to admire.

Humans having much more task, yet failing that task, nature will revolt them, and separate their fantasies.

Such it is with the whole Earth relationship too.

Bad-Day.:) Good Day :(. Sunny. Overcast.

Lisa Jones wrote on Mar 19^th, 2011 at 2:23pm:

Relationships (professional and personal) .. often break down .. and for all sorts of reasons. This topic is about all that. Why? Because it's something all of us have experienced (either directly or indirectly). What are your thoughts/opinions on why such breakdowns occur? What is the best way to get through them? What has worked well for you/others you know?

why? wtf knows? no one in these kinds of situations are 100% honest so....
best way to get through them, whether personal or professional is to harden the bugger up and do the right thing by all concerned.

it isn't rocket science,  unless one has no conscience.

Usually the relationship breakdown begins with...

1. Oral Sex ...which eventually leads to 'Swinging'.

It_is_the_Darkness wrote on Apr 22^nd, 2011 at 6:48pm:

Usually the relationship breakdown begins with... 1. Oral Sex ...which eventually leads to 'Swinging'.

ANY relationship based purely on sex  .. is going to ultimately break down.

The best way to avoid relation breakdown is "TRUST"...nothing other than that.

Rovina Alvares wrote on May 27^th, 2011 at 8:47pm:

The best way to avoid relation breakdown is "TRUST"...nothing other than that.

Which needs to be earned. Blanket trust is called stupidity.

I'm new and glad to join ;D