http://www.couriermail.com.au/lifestyle/men-worse-at-hiding-affairs-researchers-find/story-e6frer4f-1225905044330

WHEN it comes to having an affair, men are apparently strictly amateurs compared with women.

They are twice as likely to get caught because they're so hopeless at covering their tracks, researchers have said.

Women, however, are far more skilled in the arts of hiding their affairs, particularly when it comes to handling technology such as emails, texts and social networking sites.

According to the researchers, the difference is so great that one in 10 male cheats has been exposed as a love rat, compared with just one in 20 women.

A shameless 40 per cent of women who have affairs use an alibi friend to help them gain more time to spend with their lover. Men, on the other hand, choose to keep details of their trysts a secret, never telling a soul for fear of being caught. Just 6 per cent have a regular alibi. The poll, from IllicitEncounters.com, found that half of men but only 21 per cent of women were found out via text, email or phone call.

"Careless men often leave their mobile phones lying around, giving their partners a chance to check up on them," Sara Hartley, of IllicitEncounters.com, said.

"We find men can be surprisingly reckless when it comes to disguising their affairs," Ms Hartley said.

"Women are far more careful to log out of private email accounts and Facebook and keep separate email addresses and SIM cards specifically for their lover's use.

"Technology can be the downfall of cheating spouses – one suspicious text message or email and everything can go to pot.

"Women are also more likely to tell their friends and create a network of 'affair' friends who can cover for them if things get sticky."

According to Dr David Holmes, a psychologist at Manchester Metropolitan University, women are having more affairs than ever but behave very differently from men when they cheat.

"The biggest difference is that women are much better at keeping their affairs secret," he said.

"They are better liars because they're more psychologically sophisticated.

"You can argue about whether it's nature or nurture, but women are programmed to be much more relationship and people orientated than men.

"Emotionally, they make plans and have strategies, while men are more impulsive."

He also said women are better at multi-tasking and this greatly helps them to carry out their affairs.

"They can keep all the different strands of a lie in their minds, remember them and make them convincing," he said.

I have never been cheated on, and I think a lot of that is due to the fact that I come from a time when promiscuous sexual behaviour was pretty well the norm, and I always said to girlfriends upfront, "I can handle it if you wish to have a relationship with someone else, but I just ask you show me enough respect to be upfront about it, and not lie to me."

Every girlfriend I ever had respected that, so I think the simple fact is that people in relationships without that mutual respect can far more easily justify cheating, than people who do receive the respect they deserve.

I was not the morality police though, and did not judge married women who chose to have relationships with me behind their partner's back, as that was their call, and when I was single I never knocked back a nice girl who wished to just have a bit of fun.

So, then you got married.  According to that research, you have only a 5% chance of becoming aware that yer Missus is playing up.

:)

Yes once a man gets too complacent and starts taking the relationship for granted - that's the time when the woman gets bored.


Quote:

According to that research, you have only a 5% chance of becoming aware that yer Missus is playing up.

So appreciate the one you're with.

Perhaps it's because the guys can't stop smiling that gives them away???

That, and telling everyone at the pub??

mantra wrote on Aug 14^th, 2010 at 8:52pm:

Yes once a man gets too complacent and starts taking the relationship for granted - that's the time when the woman gets bored. Quote: According to that research, you have only a 5% chance of becoming aware that yer Missus is playing up. So appreciate the one you're with.

So when a woman has an affair, it's becasue her man don't treat 'er right, and when a man has an affair, it's just because he's an arsehole?

if a woman tells you that she loves you you tell her you love mario games

Better that than tell her you love Mario.

The article comes as no surprise. Women are far superior in deception.
When women lie they are merely exercising their weapons.

Postmodern Trendoid III wrote on Aug 16^th, 2010 at 4:15pm:

The article comes as no surprise. Women are far superior in deception. When women lie they are merely exercising their weapons.

WRONG!  When women lie about important issues, they relegate themselves to the slime category, exactly the same as men who do the same thing.  There are honest women who don`t need to be lumped in with the slimes , and whose word can be trusted.

Men are generally better at short term lies and women are generally better at long term lies IMO. All biological reasoning there of course.

If a man ever wonders what went wrong after she had gotten fat and ugly, and after he'd stuck by her through thick and even thicker, then it's too late, he's missed his opportunity to lie.
Now he's the bunny. He will work and keep working as a slave for the rest of his God Damned life...'cause he's the (white male caucasian) bunny that our society relies upon for just about everything.i

... wrote on Aug 16^th, 2010 at 11:12am:

mantra wrote on Aug 14th, 2010 at 8:52pm: Yes once a man gets too complacent and starts taking the relationship for granted - that's the time when the woman gets bored. Quote: According to that research, you have only a 5% chance of becoming aware that yer Missus is playing up. So appreciate the one you're with. So when a woman has an affair, it's becasue her man don't treat 'er right, and when a man has an affair, it's just because he's an arsehole?

Yeah - it's too much of a blame game, but it's just life. Sometimes these things just happen. If one human being finds another human being who happens to be 100% compatible and the circumstances are right - for example being stuck in an unhappy marriage where the two parties are obviously not compatible.

Sometimes these things happen for the long term good. Sometimes, it's just the heat of the moment.

In my experience, very few couples are 100% compatible in the first instance - and sometimes it is habit, convenience and/or fear of the unknown that keeps people together...

That's not necessarily a bad thing - especially given that the seemingly more attractive grass elsewhere ain't necessarily suitably 'greener' eitherer!

Besides, all the good ones are usually taken!

Oh, and people often end up swapping one set of interpersonal problems for a slightly different set - and the older we get: the set of baggage that we each carry gets bigger and more tarnished!

Well, you ain't looking at it in normal biological terms. You're looking at it in terms of capitalism, in the way that keeps the man working until he drops dead.
In natural terms (as far as raising childen goes), a woman will do whatever she needs to do to keep her man from straying with other women and to keep the attention with her and the kids. That's where men's short term lies come in. He will lie to keep the order and so that he can continue to stray if he wants. And women are programmed to not believe them, that's why they phone ten times a day.

Once the kids are of an age to look after themselves, then all bets are off. Most especially if the husband has amassed a good nestegg. Then it's bye bye, no more lie. What she wanted from the man in the first place is surely realised...the extended lie for the raising of kids is not a bad thing, but does it move with the times?
I don't think it does, it favours the slavery of men, just as it has throughout the ages for different bs reasons.
Nothing has changed except that white male caucasians are now the major target of slavery. who said colour matters?i

Amadd wrote on Aug 20^th, 2010 at 1:03pm:

Well, you ain't looking at it in normal biological terms. You're looking at it in terms of capitalism, in the way that keeps the man working until he drops dead. In natural terms (as far as raising childen goes), a woman will do whatever she needs to do to keep her man from straying with other women and to keep the attention with her and the kids. That's where men's short term lies come in. He will lie to keep the order and so that he can continue to stray if he wants. And women are programmed to not believe them, that's why they phone ten times a day. Once the kids are of an age to look after themselves, then all bets are off. Most especially if the husband has amassed a good nestegg. Then it's bye bye, no more lie. What she wanted from the man in the first place is surely realised...the extended lie for the raising of kids is not a bad thing, but does it move with the times? I don't think it does, it favours the slavery of men, just as it has throughout the ages for different bs reasons. Nothing has changed except that white male caucasians are now the major target of slavery. who said colour matters?

That's a fascinating way of looking at things - I shall henceforth ponder it...

I guess men don't make up elaborate cover stories because deep down inside, beneath all the programming, we don't think there's anything wrong with spreading our seed as far and wide as we can.  It's in our nature.

Great clip, song starts at 3.20

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SA3z2kmBltw&feature=related

Why would they put as male voice to those fine women?

They are positively yummy. I'd do them some excellent pleasure that they could could take throughout a lifetime. I just lovvvvve old fashioned women.
Ahhh yess, they are the great ones that I worship. I love those old fashioned women :)

But they'd still be glad when I'm dead..I'm a Rascal too  ;D

aussiefree2ride wrote on Aug 18^th, 2010 at 8:44am:

Postmodern Trendoid III wrote on Aug 16th, 2010 at 4:15pm: The article comes as no surprise. Women are far superior in deception. When women lie they are merely exercising their weapons. WRONG!  When women lie about important issues, they relegate themselves to the slime category, exactly the same as men who do the same thing.  There are honest women who don`t need to be lumped in with the slimes , and whose word can be trusted.

CORRECTION! I never denied men lie as well. I merely point out that women are far better at it.

Postmodern Trendoid III wrote on Aug 23^rd, 2010 at 10:44am:

aussiefree2ride wrote on Aug 18th, 2010 at 8:44am: Postmodern Trendoid III wrote on Aug 16th, 2010 at 4:15pm: The article comes as no surprise. Women are far superior in deception. When women lie they are merely exercising their weapons. WRONG!  When women lie about important issues, they relegate themselves to the slime category, exactly the same as men who do the same thing.  There are honest women who don`t need to be lumped in with the slimes , and whose word can be trusted. CORRECTION! I never denied men lie as well. I merely point out that women are far better at it.

No offense meant, I was pointing out that it isn`t ok for women to lie.
Unless they happen to be telling me what a good bloke I am. :o

What do you call a Smart man and a Smart woman?
Romance.
What do you call a Smart man and a Dumb woman?
an Affair.
What do you call a Dumb man and a Smart woman?
Marriage.
What do you call a Dumb man and a Dumb woman?
Pregnant.

Women will always be SEXUALLY superior to men.
They can have sex longer,
they can have multiple orgasms,
they can create children,
they start to swell and enlarge, after 9 months, they divide into two ...sometimes three, four and even more.
they convince ignorant males that the input of their seed constitutes a 'majority' of the pro-creative act and many men still think that its the woman's fault if a male heir is not born.
When races outbreed other races, its due more from the women outbreeding other women, rather than the men being 'studs'.

If your partner has slept with, say, x50 people before she met you - chances are she will let you down at least x50 times in a day before she puts a smile on your face.
People who have relationships from a virginal starting point, by a large majority, tend to have stronger and better relationships than people who have had multiple partners throughout their lives.
The common concept is that people who put relationships first or 'love', tend to make sacrifices in their careers and possible achievements. Whereas people who put careers and achievements first tend to have relationships that fail eventually.
The emergence of the 'safe sex' CONDOM or Rubber, has brought about an age of 'shallow promiscurity'. Most men don't even realise that, besides having shouted the drinks at the night out, they are nothing more than a walking-talking Dildo or Vibrator. Most of these men consider themselves Studs because of the amount of 'Pussy' they pick-up ...these men are usually known as Wankers. If they managed to knock-up more than one, let alone two women - they are known as Rednecks.
Men who jump on the saddle of Celibacy and not fall off the other side into Homosexuality are despised by women. These men tend to be very successful men and don't succumb to the machinations of flirtatious gold-digging skanks. These Skanks tend to call these men that can be far worse 'bitches' than women without having to bite the pillow - Gay, ironically. Women are intimidated by Celibate men who can brush aside their, now useless - sexuality.
A lot of women 'sleep' their way to success (Corporate ladder, etc) via useing 'Dildo or Vibrator' males, but suddenly find themselves 'bitch-slapped' and unable to claim a $37 million sexual assault case by Celibate males.
A Celibate male is the type of male who would drive a Bugatti-Veyron, slow past a group of girls, say "Hi" politely, before driving a further 15 metres to a group of guys waiting to 'Check it out!' The Celibate male is also known as the Man's man.

Neat, Jas.  Don't agree with all of it, but clever it is!

Postmodern Trendoid III wrote on Aug 16^th, 2010 at 4:15pm:

The article comes as no surprise. Women are far superior in deception. When women lie they are merely exercising their weapons.

Welcome Time. Very nice to see you here.  :)

Now back to your comment. I was under the impression that intelligence played a role in lying, so that those more able to lie are also showing their more able intelligence.

I'm not so sure that gender plays a role in that.

Sappho wrote on Sep 1^st, 2010 at 12:24pm:

Postmodern Trendoid III wrote on Aug 16th, 2010 at 4:15pm: The article comes as no surprise. Women are far superior in deception. When women lie they are merely exercising their weapons. Welcome Time. Very nice to see you here.  :) Now back to your comment. I was under the impression that intelligence played a role in lying, so that those more able to lie are also showing their more able intelligence. I'm not so sure that gender plays a role in that.

Hi Sappho. Nice to see you again too. Good to see a familiar face.

I can only speak from observation and experience, but men are bad liars; they just can't seem to make their body language act in accordance with their lie. Women, on the other hand, seem to be very good at putting on the required act to make it convincing. No shiftiness or uncertainty; they truly seem convinced that they are speaking the truth. I've only caught women lying way after the actual act of lying.
Maybe it's got something to do with evolutionary behaviour; that of having to train oneself to lie convincingly over thousands of years to get what they want?

Postmodern Trendoid III wrote on Sep 1^st, 2010 at 4:52pm:

I can only speak from observation and experience, but men are bad liars; they just can't seem to make their body language act in accordance with their lie. Women, on the other hand, seem to be very good at putting on the required act to make it convincing. No shiftiness or uncertainty; they truly seem convinced that they are speaking the truth. I've only caught women lying way after the actual act of lying. Maybe it's got something to do with evolutionary behaviour; that of having to train oneself to lie convincingly over thousands of years to get what they want?

Well, I'm going to suggest that your sample group is incredibly bias towards intelligent women and not so intelligent men.

It really is the case that lying is a sign of intelligence. It's been well studied.

As to men and lying, what about politicians, businessmen, advertising men.... lordy lord the list is endless.

Seriously, it's not a gender phenomenon, it's a human phenomenon.  

Sappho wrote on Sep 1^st, 2010 at 5:34pm:

Postmodern Trendoid III wrote on Sep 1st, 2010 at 4:52pm: I can only speak from observation and experience, but men are bad liars; they just can't seem to make their body language act in accordance with their lie. Women, on the other hand, seem to be very good at putting on the required act to make it convincing. No shiftiness or uncertainty; they truly seem convinced that they are speaking the truth. I've only caught women lying way after the actual act of lying. Maybe it's got something to do with evolutionary behaviour; that of having to train oneself to lie convincingly over thousands of years to get what they want? Well, I'm going to suggest that your sample group is incredibly bias towards intelligent women and not so intelligent men. It really is the case that lying is a sign of intelligence. It's been well studied. As to men and lying, what about politicians, businessmen, advertising men.... lordy lord the list is endless. Seriously, it's not a gender phenomenon, it's a human phenomenon.

I am not too convinced on that link. It studies children between 2-16 and is only on a single test that consists of lying to a camera about not looking at a teddy bear. Not very comprehensive.
I agree , though, that it's a human phenomenon not a gender one. Both sexes probably lie as much as the other, but I sure as hell can't tell when women are lying. lol.

It usually happens when they are talking, Tim.  Keep a sharp eye out for that.

:D

I found that women who have broken up because their man has lied, tend to have faked their hair colour to go with it.
Nothing more skanky than a peroxide blonde!

Amadd wrote on Aug 21^st, 2010 at 3:41am:

They are positively yummy. I'd do them some excellent pleasure that they could could take throughout a lifetime. I just lovvvvve old fashioned women. Ahhh yess, they are the great ones that I worship. I love those old fashioned women :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_RTnd3Smy8&feature=player_embedded