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Message started by polly on Jul 23rd, 2008 at 12:56am

Title: American Research?
Post by polly on Jul 23rd, 2008 at 12:56am
Hi Folks,

My daughter found this research paper on-line in the States. I was wondering if we might have some of this element in Canberra...

Polly


NEW ELEMENT DISCOVERED:

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.  The new element has been named "Governmentium."  Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 deputy neutrons, 75 assistant neutrons, and 224 deputy assistant neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.  These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no protons or electrons, it is inert.  However, it can be detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact.  A minute amount of Governmentium causes a reaction to take 4 days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years.  It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.  This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.  This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."  When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

Title: Re: American Research?
Post by Acid Monkey on Jul 23rd, 2008 at 1:26am
;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: American Research?
Post by liko on Jul 25th, 2008 at 12:12am

polly wrote on Jul 23rd, 2008 at 12:56am:
Hi Folks,

My daughter found this research paper on-line in the States. I was wondering if we might have some of this element in Canberra...

Polly


NEW ELEMENT DISCOVERED:

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.  The new element has been named "Governmentium."  Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 deputy neutrons, 75 assistant neutrons, and 224 deputy assistant neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.  These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no protons or electrons, it is inert.  However, it can be detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact.  A minute amount of Governmentium causes a reaction to take 4 days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years.  It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.  This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.  This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."  When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
lol :D

Title: Re: American Research?
Post by freediver on Jul 25th, 2008 at 12:20pm
Welcome to OzPolitic liko.

Title: Re: American Research?
Post by muso on Jul 27th, 2008 at 5:45pm

polly wrote on Jul 23rd, 2008 at 12:56am:
ELEMENT DISCOVERED:

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.  The new element has been named "Governmentium."  Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 deputy neutrons, 75 assistant neutrons, and 224 deputy assistant neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.  These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
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Some boson wrote that years ago. It's at least 70's vintage. Still good though :)

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