Do online relationships help in real life relationships ??

Do they improve our emotional quotient, or make us worse than before ?

Depends what you mean about online relationships Sprintcyclist.  Do you mean romantic online relationships or just plain communication online?

I've found that being on Cracker has toughened me up quite a lot.  I used to get very angry at some of the insults, but lately I find most of them funny and I get a good laugh, although obviously I still lose it occasionally.  But if you want a bit of light entertainment - online forums are good for that.

As far as romantic online relationships - I've had a couple which were fun and the males were attractive and great with words (surprisingly).  The communication was a  pleasant emotional experience considering I was experimenting with this at the time.  

Generally though - for some people - online relationships are very good for us emotionally if we don't become too personally involved or take it too seriously.

Sprintcyclist wrote on Oct 2^nd, 2007 at 10:08pm:

Do online relationships help in real life relationships ?? Do they improve our emotional quotient, or make us worse than before ?

Sprint yes I believe sometimes they can enhance our emotional quotient but sometimes they can have the opposite effect.

So yes they can deplete our emotional quotient also.

I have experienced both on these forums.

Going to what Mantra said- I have met some very articulate and charming males online- a very nice experience.

Online relationships are a fast way to heartache.

You know how they used to say TV was company for lonely old people? The net is potentially better company in my view but also potentially worse. Depends what you find and how yoru judgement is and where you go and what you do and who with. You may get support you would not have otherwise. Or you may becoem over indulgent in focussing on personal problems so that you magnify them. You may share interests with those of like interests- be it science or knitting or fishing...  Or you may have a series of desperate cyber sex encounters and begin not to be able to relate to real people.

I fell in love on the net and am happily married. I have semi-counselled various folk with problems. i speak to the kids on the net when they are at my ex's house at times. We share photos of the new baby on the net with my and my partner's family.

So it can be good and it can be bad. It's kind of like a lot of life- what you make it. ...

I met my fiancee on the net too. Is a good place to meet people.
Unfortunately it can also be a place where untoward people can meet and obsess on their unsocial illegal interests too.
maybe, it is a place that enables more extremist behaviour ? At this stage anyway.

how can looking online be worse than looking in a pub?

You get the occasional reality check in a pub.

Online was good for me.
Other areas I would recommend are "learn to dance classes" and "yoga" classes.


In the words of a (female) friend of mine, a guy at a "learn to dance class  would be "swooped up"
My advice from experience, you will be outnumbered about 8 to 1.  Take your time.
In joga classes, expect about being outnumbered about 20 to 1.
I wish I had gone to either of those ............

No charges, but serious consequences in case of mean Internet postings that preceded suicide

http://www.smh.com.au/news/breaking-news/no-charges-but-serious-consequences-in-case-of-mean-internet-postings-that-preceded-suicide/2007/12/04/1196530640975.html

There will be no criminal charges in the case of a 13-year-old girl who killed herself last year after receiving cruel messages on the Internet. There have, however, been consequences.

People online have expressed outrage against those involved in sending mean messages to Megan Meier, identifying some of them. The family authorities say was behind the fake MySpace profile where the messages originated has reported its home being hit by paintballs and getting a brick thrown through a window.

St. Charles County prosecutor Jack Banas said it's his understanding that a former friend of Megan's whose family was behind the fake profile is now being home-schooled. He added that a young employee of the girl's mother who was also involved is hospitalized and receiving psychiatric treatment.

Megan's relatives, still mourning their loss, are working to strengthen laws related to Internet harassment and better protect children on social networking sites. Her parents separated after her death and plan to divorce.

---

Missouri panel proposes changes in harassment law, inspired by teen's suicide after Web taunts

http://news.smh.com.au/missouri-panel-proposes-changes-in-harassment-law-inspired-by-teens-suicide-after-web-taunts/20071117-1axg.html

Adults who use the Internet to harass children could be charged with a felony if Missouri lawmakers agree with a proposal made Tuesday by a state panel formed after a taunted teenager's suicide.

Gov. Matt Blunt's task force on Internet harassment met for the final time, putting the finishing touches on a plan that will be submitted to the governor. Committee members did not say when a final draft would be ready.

Classic Liberal wrote on Oct 15^th, 2007 at 9:22am:

how can looking online be worse than looking in a pub?

In a pub you can tell whether the person is drunk or not (and serious or not).

I gave up on online relationships when I kept getting 20 year old photos.

Ray_A wrote on Feb 12^th, 2008 at 12:40pm:

I gave up on online relationships when I kept getting 20 year old photos.

So you got all my pictures then?  Why didn't you call?

deepthought wrote on Feb 12^th, 2008 at 5:29pm:

So you got all my pictures then?  Why didn't you call?

My motto now is "what you see is what you get". Only tried online relationships for about six months after divorce. Once I got past that I decided the single life, and freedom, was too good. I meet lots of women in my job, but still not tempted to give up this blessed freedom.

Ray_A wrote on Feb 13^th, 2008 at 7:04am:

deepthought wrote on Feb 12th, 2008 at 5:29pm: So you got all my pictures then?  Why didn't you call? My motto now is "what you see is what you get". Only tried online relationships for about six months after divorce. Once I got past that I decided the single life, and freedom, was too good. I meet lots of women in my job, but still not tempted to give up this blessed freedom.

I was kidding Ray, I meant 'why didn't you call me'.  You will see that I don't take life too seriously.

Singledom is good but I would not replace my relationship with it mate.  I love being deeply involved.

You're married to the Liberal party aren't you Deepy?

deepthought wrote on Feb 13^th, 2008 at 7:06am:

I was kidding Ray, I meant 'why didn't you call me'.  You will see that I don't take life too seriously. Singledom is good but I would not replace my relationship with it mate.  I love being deeply involved.

I know you were kidding. I've heard others say the same as you about being involved. Each to his/her own, I suppose. As for me, I need a relationship like I need a hole in the head. Maybe it's because I was married 22 years and raised five children. I only got this total freedom six months ago when the last birdie left the nest, bless her heart, now making her own money in a good job, and my bank account is now actually going up! Never knew an empty flat could feel like Shangri-La. Maybe in a few years my "love batteries" might recharge. ("Those who don't learn from the past are condemned to repeat it" - Yikes)

freediver wrote on Feb 13^th, 2008 at 7:09am:

You're married to the Liberal party aren't you Deepy?

There's room in my heart for more than one love free.




Ray_A wrote on Feb 13^th, 2008 at 7:15am:

deepthought wrote on Feb 13th, 2008 at 7:06am: I was kidding Ray, I meant 'why didn't you call me'.  You will see that I don't take life too seriously. Singledom is good but I would not replace my relationship with it mate.  I love being deeply involved. I know you were kidding. I've heard others say the same as you about being involved. Each to his/her own, I suppose. As for me, I need a relationship like I need a hole in the head. Maybe it's because I was married 22 years and raised five children. I only got this total freedom six months ago when the last birdie left the nest, bless her heart, now making her own money in a good job, and my bank account is now actually going up! Never knew an empty flat could feel like Shangri-La. Maybe in a few years my "love batteries" might recharge. ("Those who don't learn from the past are condemned to repeat it" - Yikes)

I get you.  That's understandable and a break is heartily recommended in that case.  One thing I did find about singledom (when I was) is the necessity to learn to enjoy your solitude.  It can be hard at times but perseverance gives you a fresh perspective on yourself as an individual.

Stick with it.

deepthought wrote on Feb 13^th, 2008 at 7:22am:

One thing I did find about singledom (when I was) is the necessity to learn to enjoy your solitude.  It can be hard at times but perseverance gives you a fresh perspective on yourself as an individual.

Too, too true.

http://news.smh.com.au/world/us-woman-indicted-in-myspace-suicide-20080516-2eur.html

A US federal grand jury has indicted a woman for her alleged role in perpetrating a hoax on the online social network MySpace against a 13-year-old neighbour who later committed suicide.

Lori Drew of St Louis, Missouri allegedly helped create a false-identity MySpace account to contact Megan Meier, who thought she was chatting with a 16-year-old boy named Josh Evans. Josh didn't exist.

Megan hanged herself at home in October 2006 after receiving cruel messages, including one stating the world would be better off without her.

Salvador Hernandez, assistant agent in charge of the Los Angeles FBI office, called the case heart-rending.

"The internet is a world unto itself. People must know how far they can go before they must stop. They exploited a young girl's weaknesses," Hernandez said.

Drew was charged with one count of conspiracy and three counts of accessing protected computers without authorisation to get information used to inflict emotional distress on the girl.

Drew has denied creating the account or sending messages to Megan.

http://news.smh.com.au/technology/key-events-in-the-megan-meier-case-20080516-2ev8.html

Timeline of events in the Megan Meier Internet suicide case:

September 2006: 13-year-old Megan Meier of Dardenne Prairie, Mo., begins communicating online on the MySpace social network with "Josh Evans," who she thinks is a good-looking boy living in her area.

Oct. 15, 2006, she receives a message from Josh, saying he doesn't want to be her friend anymore.

Oct. 16, 2006: Megan receives cruel messages through MySpace, including one from "Josh," allegedly telling her the world would be a better place without her. Megan runs upstairs. About 20 minutes later, Megan's mother finds her daughter has hanged herself in her closet.

Oct. 17, 2006: Megan dies at a hospital, a few weeks before her 14th birthday.

Fall 2006: Megan's parents learn from a neighbor that Josh was the creation of another neighbor, Lori Drew, her teenage employee Ashley Grills, and Drew's teenage daughter, a former friend of Megan. They are told the MySpace profile was created to see what Megan was saying about Drew's daughter online. Drew, through her attorney, later disputes she helped create the site or knew of mean messages prior to Megan's death.

Fall 2007: Media accounts of Megan's suicide fuel public outrage in the case.

Dec. 3, 2007: St. Charles County, Mo., prosecutor Jack Banas says he reviewed laws related to stalking, harassment and child endangerment and couldn't find statutes allowing him to file charges.

May 15, 2008: A Los Angeles federal grand jury indicts Lori Drew for her alleged role in the MySpace hoax, charging her with one count of conspiracy and three counts of accessing protected computers without authorization.