Which one does the most damage in a relationship?

Lies


Infidelity


Imbalance of power


Lack of sexual compatibility


Family problems ie: inlaws etc

The lack of sexual compatability.

The first 2 may be a problem if they are known, an imbalance of power may be entirely accepted.
A marriage is a new family, that comes before inlaws. They are secondary

I dont know- i agree they are all damaging. I would tend to think lies would be the worst because they mean you can't deal with a situation because you dont know what it is.

Connie, yes, only if the lie is known though.
If the fib never comes to the surface ......... no damage done.

I disagree. A lie unknown still weighs on a relationship because it inhibits communication and knowledge between the partners.

Oh, it's certainly not a good thing for a relationship.
We are talking about serious deliberate lies here, not just forgetful or "did not bother to say".

I much rather be withsomeone who had lied and was sexually compatible, than someone who had never lied but we slept in different beds.

mmm lack of sexual compatability is a big one and my first choice.

and infidelity the next for me I think...this one and lies go together.

I  suppose defining "damage" might help me answer the question too. You can have a long term stable relationship with someone whom you don't have a strong sexual compatability with. Is it as close as a relationship where there is sexual compatability- probably not, but life as a couple is not all sex.

I agree too Oceans & Sprintcyclist.  All can be forgiven if you are compatible physically - for a little while anyway.   :)

cautious connie wrote on Aug 29^th, 2007 at 7:58pm:

I  suppose defining "damage" might help me answer the question too. You can have a long term stable relationship with someone whom you don't have a strong sexual compatability with. Is it as close as a relationship where there is sexual compatability- probably not, but life as a couple is not all sex.

well then that would be a very unsatisfactory sterile realtionship-- how sad.

A brother and sister can live together and not want sex- or an old couple perhaps-but normal couples do want sex- incompatibility would be a dealbreaker in most cases.