Do men tend to dominate women in relationships? Is this the "natural order"? How can they and we avoid it? Does it matter? Is there a place for dominance at times? Should women be dominant at times?

There is a dominant partner in almost every relationship - whether it's the male or female.  Sometimes it's welcomed, other times the person hasn't got the confidence to stand up for themselves.

Often when a person is unfairly dominated - it's their fault because they allow it.  In this day and age we all aware of assertiveness, so if the relationship remains unbalanced - obviously the couple like it that way.

Seems to mainly be one person who dominates. decisions are made more effective that way.
Long as the dominant one is considerate to the other one, should be ok ?

Problem is where the dominant ones is inconsiderate.
hard to be assertive when the other person is overly dominant.
Most common dominant behaviour I see is verballing the other person.

mantra wrote on Aug 8^th, 2007 at 9:58am:

There is a dominant partner in almost every relationship - whether it's the male or female.  Sometimes it's welcomed, other times the person hasn't got the confidence to stand up for themselves. Often when a person is unfairly dominated - it's their fault because they allow it.  In this day and age we all aware of assertiveness, so if the relationship remains unbalanced - obviously the couple like it that way.

I would agree with that mantra..dominance works well for some couples. In a relationship whereone feels trapped or over whelmed by it..the relationship usually doesnt last long.

Here is something I found interesting. Some of my ex-girlfriends seem to have a rape fantasy with me. Not that I am the rapist in the fantasy -- it's them. Sometimes it is a matter of them wanting to have me in bed role play being a victim of rape. One liked it when I pretended to be asleep whilst she had sex with me. Another liked it when I acted like I was being raped by her -- complete with me begging for mercy, etc. Then there was one that did not want me touching her while she had sex with me. But then, she got really wild when I pretended to be really submissive.

I think the first one was having issues with her controlling ex-boyfriend and wanted to fantasize about having things her way. The second one was probably abused as a teenager, and wants to re-establish control. The third one I can't really understand. Possibly just another "boss" type.

Other girlfriends I have had do not like it when I act submissive, with one not wanting to have sex with me in any other position other than missionary. But there are a few that have gone so far as to practically rape me. I don't know what it is. Normally, it's a good night of sex for those that I do bond well.

Do other females have this domination being the "female rapist" fantasy?

I've had one female who's 'fantasy' was to be 'raped'.
WTF!?  :-?
She was a negative impact on me and it actually turned me off or scared me off? I think she 'mentally' raped me to a very bad degree of harm. Oh well, if I dance with the Devil...

As for 'domination' in a Relationship.
Well if one partner dominates between them, then the other dominates when they are amongst others.
It's no different to 'overt/covert' and 'extro/intro' roles.
If one dominates 'sexually', then the other dominates 'financially'.
The one that is in the background publically, dominates the relationship 'behind the scenes'.

Everything equalises out.
You dominate in one part of your life.
But you submit in another part of your life.

you have to look at evolutionary pressure and the reptilian brain to understand these things.

evolutionary pressure is about passing on your DNA.

a woman can only have a limited number of children .
and she wants the best chance for them to survive in the environment.

for 1000's of generations the environment was pretty harsh.

a woman (or the groups of women) would sit back at the village and then the men would come back with the booty from the hunt.

now , back comes the best hunter, strong powerful , successful...a "winner" .  the women want the sperm from this guy, its going to give their offspring the best chance of survival.

women dont want to win, they want to be with a winner...i tell you guys this all the time.

back comes "steve".  steve isnt fat in the old days, he's just really meek , but really really nice. steve comes back with some berries and leaves . he is the "provider male".
he offers the woman fidelity, he will never cheat, he will try to provide for her as best he can.

Does she want the sperm of steve.

No she doesnt

but after she has secured the sperm of the best hunter, she might be happy to settle down with steve as the best hunter is not going to be as loyal to her as steve.

But there will always be that "reptilian brain" telling her to get with the winner, champ, dominator guy who is crushing it in life even if he isnt faithful.

when she goes to vegas with the girls and she meets some guy who is just so entitled, so self confident, so buzzed off his own vibe, she will find it very hard to resist him.

look at all the cheering women watching "ninja warrior".
see how it completely outrated "master chef " .

ninja warrior = the sperm of the dominator .
matt preston and the crew on masterchef = total beta male provider males.

yes , women do want to be dominated
yes, they do want to be led.
yes, they do want to feel comfort with a guy who "takes charge".

deny it all you want, (hollywood certainly does) and our male presenters from Karl stefanovic to grant denyer are total beta males...but the facts clearly speak for themselves.

oh and the "rape fantasy".

women do NOT have fantasies about being raped by some gimp in a ski mask.
usually it about them having the power over a male.
the typical fantasy would be of some well groomed guy on the bus who they really fancy and the fantasy is that they (the woman that is) is so sexy, her sexuality overpowers him so much, that he just has to scoop her up and have his way with her. its about her femininity overpowering him...a very different scenario from the ski mask  ;)

Horseboy you say the same thing in every post. The same wrong thing.

Jovial Monk wrote on Jul 26^th, 2017 at 8:43am:

Horseboy you say the same thing in every post. The same wrong thing.

monk, you are very "reactive".
thats the female role in an interaction.

the male energy (in this case we are discussing domination) is to go out there and "penetrate the world".

being reactive and always being at the "effect" and never at the "cause" is very very submissive behaviour.

you dont have a strong sense of direction and so you just get sucked into other peoples "frames".

try going out there and being a man of "action" not 'reaction"

You say the same bullshit every post. The words may be arranged a little differently is all.

And it is all crap, crap designed to make you look good.

For gods sake go away until you have something fresh to post.

I'm the dominant one in my relationship and i have my wifes permission to be so.  :D :D :D

aquascoot wrote on Jul 26^th, 2017 at 8:53am:

monk, you are very "reactive".

actually, you are reactive. Whenever you see a topic you don't think, all you do is repeat the same old psychobabble you've had drummed into you.

Very low energy stuff.

Not so much “reactive” as “bored shitless.”

Jovial Monk wrote on Jul 26^th, 2017 at 8:57am:

You say the same bullshit every post. The words may be arranged a little differently is all. And it is all crap, crap designed to make you look good. For gods sake go away until you have something fresh to post.

it is not crap.
it does challenge the prevailing social conditioning.
the leftie likes things to be very certain, he likes his "safety net"
he likes group think (even though group think is very wrong when it comes to the male female dynamic).

if you were to accept the wisdom of the "contributions" i provide to you, you would have to rethink the whole way you approach life.  this is a challenge.
and your subconscious reptilian brain does not like to be challenged.
so you are stuck

still, all the "superior man" can do is offer guidance for those who are stuck in leftard purgatory  ;) ;)

It is crap. Crap you got out of a self help book instead of reading some real psychology and sociology.

And every single post you make is designed to make you look great. You must have serious insecurity problems.

Forget stupid self help books: they help the authors more than the readers, easy way to make $$$

aquascoot wrote on Jul 26^th, 2017 at 6:50am:

you have to look at evolutionary pressure and the reptilian brain to understand these things. evolutionary pressure is about passing on your DNA.

Yes it definitely is.


Quote:

a woman can only have a limited number of children . and she wants the best chance for them to survive in the environment.

That is true. Ultimately it's the female - unless her brain is stuffed from toxins, who chooses the male.


Quote:

now , back comes the best hunter, strong powerful , successful...a "winner" .  the women want the sperm from this guy, its going to give their offspring the best chance of survival. women dont want to win, they want to be with a winner...i tell you guys this all the time.

That used to be the case, but the roles are more reversed now and it's often the role of the woman to be the hunter.


Quote:

back comes "steve".  steve isnt fat in the old days, he's just really meek , but really really nice. steve comes back with some berries and leaves . he is the "provider male". he offers the woman fidelity, he will never cheat, he will try to provide for her as best he can. Does she want the sperm of steve. No she doesnt

A dominating woman might want Steve. Some females like meek men.


Quote:

but after she has secured the sperm of the best hunter, she might be happy to settle down with steve as the best hunter is not going to be as loyal to her as steve.

Good point.


Quote:

But there will always be that "reptilian brain" telling her to get with the winner, champ, dominator guy who is crushing it in life even if he isnt faithful. when she goes to vegas with the girls and she meets some guy who is just so entitled, so self confident, so buzzed off his own vibe, she will find it very hard to resist him. look at all the cheering women watching "ninja warrior". see how it completely outrated "master chef " . ninja warrior = the sperm of the dominator . matt preston and the crew on masterchef = total beta male provider males. yes , women do want to be dominated yes, they do want to be led. yes, they do want to feel comfort with a guy who "takes charge". deny it all you want, (hollywood certainly does) and our male presenters from Karl stefanovic to grant denyer are total beta males...but the facts clearly speak for themselves. oh and the "rape fantasy". women do NOT have fantasies about being raped by some gimp in a ski mask. usually it about them having the power over a male. the typical fantasy would be of some well groomed guy on the bus who they really fancy and the fantasy is that they (the woman that is) is so sexy, her sexuality overpowers him so much, that he just has to scoop her up and have his way with her. its about her femininity overpowering him...a very different scenario from the ski mask  ;)

A lot of that is guesswork aquascoot. Only women know what fantasies they have and I would think many of us keep these thoughts to ourselves.

Rape is usually violent and maybe the occasional female might fantasise about not the actual rape itself, but the passion of it only if she thought the rapist wouldn't physically hurt her during or after the process.

That's why 'darker' males breed more successfully than the 'whiter' males.
The World of the future will be designed, engineered and created (like a God) by the White males.
But it will be populated by the children of the Darker males.
In fact, going by the statistics of racial breeding where there is a difference of 80% success rate of darker males breeding with whiter females than there is of whiter males breeding with darker females.
The end result is that the DNA always recognises the 'success rate' majority.
So in the future, the majority of males will NATURALLY be born darker than the females.
Afterall - nearly 90% of all Art, both modern and historical depict the 'male as darker' than the female.

So this is why the darker male is considered ...the DOMINANT GENE.  ;)

Black Groom / White Bride.

mantra wrote on Jul 26^th, 2017 at 10:50am:

aquascoot wrote on Jul 26th, 2017 at 6:50am: you have to look at evolutionary pressure and the reptilian brain to understand these things. evolutionary pressure is about passing on your DNA. Yes it definitely is. Quote: a woman can only have a limited number of children . and she wants the best chance for them to survive in the environment. That is true. Ultimately it's the female - unless her brain is stuffed from toxins, who chooses the male. [quote]now , back comes the best hunter, strong powerful , successful...a "winner" .  the women want the sperm from this guy, its going to give their offspring the best chance of survival. women dont want to win, they want to be with a winner...i tell you guys this all the time.

That used to be the case, but the roles are more reversed now and it's often the role of the woman to be the hunter.


Quote:

back comes "steve".  steve isnt fat in the old days, he's just really meek , but really really nice. steve comes back with some berries and leaves . he is the "provider male". he offers the woman fidelity, he will never cheat, he will try to provide for her as best he can. Does she want the sperm of steve. No she doesnt

A dominating woman might want Steve. Some females like meek men.


Quote:

but after she has secured the sperm of the best hunter, she might be happy to settle down with steve as the best hunter is not going to be as loyal to her as steve.

Good point.


Quote:

But there will always be that "reptilian brain" telling her to get with the winner, champ, dominator guy who is crushing it in life even if he isnt faithful. when she goes to vegas with the girls and she meets some guy who is just so entitled, so self confident, so buzzed off his own vibe, she will find it very hard to resist him. look at all the cheering women watching "ninja warrior". see how it completely outrated "master chef " . ninja warrior = the sperm of the dominator . matt preston and the crew on masterchef = total beta male provider males. yes , women do want to be dominated yes, they do want to be led. yes, they do want to feel comfort with a guy who "takes charge". deny it all you want, (hollywood certainly does) and our male presenters from Karl stefanovic to grant denyer are total beta males...but the facts clearly speak for themselves. oh and the "rape fantasy". women do NOT have fantasies about being raped by some gimp in a ski mask. usually it about them having the power over a male. the typical fantasy would be of some well groomed guy on the bus who they really fancy and the fantasy is that they (the woman that is) is so sexy, her sexuality overpowers him so much, that he just has to scoop her up and have his way with her. its about her femininity overpowering him...a very different scenario from the ski mask  ;)

A lot of that is guesswork aquascoot. Only women know what fantasies they have and I would think many of us keep these thoughts to ourselves.

Rape is usually violent and maybe the occasional female might fantasise about not the actual rape itself, but the passion of it only if she thought the rapist wouldn't physically hurt her during or after the process.
[/quote]


interesting opinions mantra.
you are, of course, correct that "a man has no idea what is going on in a womans head".

but can we agree that the hollywood and modern groupthink  narrative of "be really really nice and be a gentleman" does not work on all women.

what i have found is that that is the correct frame to approach a woman who has had good role models for parents.

but maybe 50 % of women simply do not respond to the nice guy who supplicates and is "a bit spineless".

and many of these women respond and are attracted to a guy who is (or even pretends to be) a bit of a douchebag.

maybe they know the douchebag wont get all clingy and needy
maybe they have a set point for how they see men after having a father who ignored them
maybe they have self esteem issues and know they are a bit of a bitch and not really a nice person and they just vibe with a guy who is upfront and doesnt pretend to be a nice guy.

seriously, men have no idea what is going on in a womans head , but the take home message is "a lot of women have no idea what is going on in their head either"  ;)

"When a Yobbo & Wanker want a girl.
The Wanker guy will get her.
Both of them are equally ugly.
But the Wanker hides it better."

...T.I.S.M  :)

aquascoot wrote on Jul 26^th, 2017 at 11:26am:

interesting opinions mantra. you are, of course, correct that "a man has no idea what is going on in a womans head". but can we agree that the hollywood and modern groupthink  narrative of "be really really nice and be a gentleman" does not work on all women. what i have found is that that is the correct frame to approach a woman who has had good role models for parents. but maybe 50 % of women simply do not respond to the nice guy who supplicates and is "a bit spineless". and many of these women respond and are attracted to a guy who is (or even pretends to be) a bit of a douchebag. maybe they know the douchebag wont get all clingy and needy maybe they have a set point for how they see men after having a father who ignored them maybe they have self esteem issues and know they are a bit of a bitch and not really a nice person and they just vibe with a guy who is upfront and doesnt pretend to be a nice guy. seriously, men have no idea what is going on in a womans head , but the take home message is "a lot of women have no idea what is going on in their head either"  ;)

There are a lot maybe's aquascoot. We can only guess at why people behave the way they do. If we know them well - we can be a little more accurate of course.

As far as your last highlighted comment - that thought won't win a male any favours from a female especially if he says it out loud.


Jasin wrote on Jul 26^th, 2017 at 11:31am:

"When a Yobbo & Wanker want a girl. The Wanker guy will get her. Both of them are equally ugly. But the Wanker hides it better." ...T.I.S.M  Smiley

That's very observant JaSinner, but it only works in the wanker's favour if he doesn't blow his cover too quickly.

You're a yob or you're a wanker, take your ****ing choice
So who is your favourite genius, James Hird or James Joyce?
You ever seen a live performance?
Join the wanker club
You thought I meant tabletop dancing?
Well, you're a yobbo, bub

[Chorus]
What are ya? Yob or wanker?
What are ya? Yob or wanker?

[Verse 2]
Wankers once used mobile phones, but now that's sort of changing
And yobs once lived in cottage homes, ain't social change amazing?
If a yob and wanker want a girl, the wanker guy will get her
The both of them are equally ugly, the wanker hides it better

[Chorus]
What are ya? Yob or wanker?
What are ya? Yob or wanker?
What are ya? Yob or wanker?
What are ya? Yob or wanker?


A wanker fights inequality and for people's rights
A wanker fights class prejudice, a yobbo just fights
Yob or wanker, wanker or yob, pass me the brush to tar ya
Make your choice then live your life, come on, pal, what are ya?

Jasin wrote on Jul 26^th, 2017 at 11:21am:

That's why 'darker' males breed more successfully than the 'whiter' males. The World of the future will be designed, engineered and created (like a God) by the White males. But it will be populated by the children of the Darker males. In fact, going by the statistics of racial breeding where there is a difference of 80% success rate of darker males breeding with whiter females than there is of whiter males breeding with darker females. The end result is that the DNA always recognises the 'success rate' majority. So in the future, the majority of males will NATURALLY be born darker than the females. Afterall - nearly 90% of all Art, both modern and historical depict the 'male as darker' than the female. So this is why the darker male is considered ...the DOMINANT GENE.  ;) Black Groom / White Bride.

You obviously need help in understanding this, because you need help in overcoming your interracial cuckold fantasies. White men can breed quite prolifically with black and asian females, too. There is some psychological mechanism in our brains wired to perpetuate the species. If we men see various women that we think we can't have, our bodies condition themselves to produce more sperm in higher quantities. It is just our survival instincts kicking in.

What you, Jasin, are experiencing is this fantasy about black people dominating white people. There is probably some kind of perception that you believe black people have some kind of goal in trying to outbreed and breed out the white people who have historically wronged their racial background. And whilst there would be some kind of animosity among black people towards white people, they are not breeding in record numbers. For that, you need to look at places like Africa, which few white people live.

Two men and two women on an island.

One man impregnates both women.
But is found dead soon after.

Other Man builds a House
where both Women cook him meals,
do his laundry and name the kids after him.

What the hell was your point, Jasin?

I noticed you said 'Black & Asian' - UnSubRocky.

Are you a 'Yankee' American?

Why couldn't you say "Black & Yellow"
or  "African & Asian" ...not that all Africans are Black and all Asians are Yellow. But you would know this - huh? :-?

I thinks you are a 'Yankee' American.
No wonder my type of posting caught your annoyance.
It's right up your 'agenda' of existence through the TV Media.
Cuckold fantasies  ;D  ;D
You have no idea.

I am 100% Australian.

I normally go with the politically correct version of what a person's race may be. Though I do tend to use "black" and "Asian" for blanket terms for people who may not be from Africa or Asia.

I think you have major submissive cuckold fantasies, and you want to test the water with posters to see who gets aboard this line of thinking with you.

You did not answer my question earlier about your silly post about two guys and two girls. One impregnating both and dying. Whilst the other builds a home and being fed by the two girls. What was the idea behind the story supposed to mean?