That was just to get you in.

Now your here..

Do you think marriage is a neccessary union..a reason for your answer.

Who invented marriage and besides protection of  children, does it serve any purpose?

Im not sure if anyone left a post here this evening but somehow it got deleted..so if it was you..it was unintentional.

mantra? Maybe Im just seeing things.  :o

Quote:

oceanz wrote on Jul 4th, 2007 at 9:36pm: That was just to get you in. Now your here.. Oh ive been suckered in! [quote]Do you think marriage is a neccessary union..a reason for your answer.

I say yes, but today its a financial institution.


Quote:

Who invented marriage and besides protection of  children, does it serve any purpose?

So the woman can have Dictatorial powers. :o

Necessity is a peculiar beast. We all have different needs and whether a couple marry is an internal matter for their relationship. I guess my view is if people need to then they need to and if they don't then they don't.

I feel more secure married. But there are certainly financial disadvantages.

It also helps look after old people, not just children.

I liked being married the first time and am feeling good about it this time.

it is not necessary.

Necessity is a peculiar beast.

Dont get that but anyway..I think marriage is a stupid 'institution'..If a couple are committed a peice of legally binding paper only causes problems.

Its the deepest form of insecurity..like saying you will only stay with me if I 'trap' you...!

We have one life, why spend it in pergatory with soemone the law says you are legally bound to..for better or worse. Its like a life sentence. hard LABOR OF ITS NOT WORKING.

Why would you do that to someone you profess to love..???

Marriage is more of a social contract than a legal one. That's the idea behind a wedding. You gather all your friends and realtives together and make a promise in front of them.

legally, a wife/husband cannot testify against their spouse in a court of law.

Reason being, the sanctity of marriage is considered to be more valuable than the possibility of a conviction.

Isn't that only in the US?

marriage is a wonderful idea.

freediver wrote on Jul 5^th, 2007 at 3:33pm:

Marriage is more of a social contract than a legal one. That's the idea behind a wedding. You gather all your friends and realtives together and make a promise in front of them.

Well if its a social contract whats with bringing the law into it and the relgious sanctityof a church-?

Let it be social then..I think marriage or a promise between 2 pple is wonderful, but once we bring the law into it that becomes a whole different game..The couple falls out of love..resentment sets in and next thing you know you are tied to someone you depsise at worst and tolerate at best. Kids of that union are subject to a life of unhappiness and dysfunction.

A lot of pple stay married because of the shame of failure thru divorce..to save face its ludicrous.

Life is too short.

When I marry, it will be for love and my vows will centre around 'until we fall out of love'.............and it wont be legally binding .


The amount of truly happy unions we could count on one hand and the unhappy ones outweigh them quite heavily. A lot of miserable pple cheating on each other and living a lie.

oceanz wrote on Jul 5^th, 2007 at 8:27pm:

freediver wrote on Jul 5th, 2007 at 3:33pm: Marriage is more of a social contract than a legal one. That's the idea behind a wedding. You gather all your friends and realtives together and make a promise in front of them. Well if its a social contract whats with bringing the law into it and the relgious sanctityof a church-? Let it be social then..I think marriage or a promise between 2 pple is wonderful, but once we bring the law into it that becomes a whole different game..The couple falls out of love..resentment sets in and next thing you know you are tied to someone you depsise at worst and tolerate at best. Kids of that union are subject to a life of unhappiness and dysfunction. A lot of pple stay married because of the shame of failure thru divorce..to save face its ludicrous. Life is too short. When I marry, it will be for love and my vows will centre around 'until we fall out of love'.............and it wont be legally binding . The amount of truly happy unions we could count on one hand and the unhappy ones outweigh them quite heavily. A lot of miserable pple cheating on each other and living a lie.

humans are fickle, legality encourages people to work at their marriages in hard parts and often poeple come out betetr and happier.

life is not short.

Freediver, as far as I am aware it was in Aussie, I could be wrong.


oceans, I put that posting in to show that marriage is somewhat different than a social contract.
It is a very official document. A marriage document can be proof for all sorts of things.

The possibilities you outlined are why marriage for me the 2nd time is so much harder than the 1st.
A guy at work agreed with me too. hes's been married twice.

If your marriage is not legally binding it is not a marriage.

I look at my 1st marriage as being a 14 year success, or a successful 23 year relationship.
If it was a failure, what/when would it have been a success?
What is your pass mark ?

Sprintcyclist wrote on Jul 5^th, 2007 at 9:26pm:

Freediver, as far as I am aware it was in Aussie, I could be wrong. oceans, I put that posting in to show that marriage is somewhat different than a social contract. It is a very official document. A marriage document can be proof for all sorts of things. The possibilities you outlined are why marriage for me the 2nd time is so much harder than the 1st. A guy at work agreed with me too. hes's been married twice. If your marriage is not legally binding it is not a marriage. I look at my 1st marriage as being a 14 year success, or a successful 23 year relationship. If it was a failure, what/when would it have been a success? What is your pass mark ?

my pass mark is that the couple involved do not expect their mate to conform to or oppress theyre true natures,loves and beliefs to conform to the will of the other. But this rarely happens. We fall in love with someone and the minute we have thenm its presto chango.

This is dishonest and deceitful and totally unfair to the partner who thought he/she was being loved for themselves, the living a lie starts right here.

Marriage Im afraid is about oppressing ones true self to conform to or please your partner..to say this is not true is living to an non existamt ideal or we/you are not basing your expectataions in reality.

We show the best of ourselves until the 'CONTRACT' is signed and then out come the claws.

I shudder at the deceit and ill intent  inherent in these pple.

The only way we can escape this is to leave out the legal bit. Because the contract is what does the damage..'AHA I have you now..you will fall into line or suffer the consequences and this could mean quite a hefty settlement to a wife/ husband who has not contributed.,or snatching away the kids..the worst kind of betrayal.

"The moment we got married he/she changed".how many times have we heard that?

Motives for marriage are rarely revealed until after. Legal contractual agreenments in marriage  take away from the spirit of what marriage is supposed to be about, love and lifelong caring with ones soulmate.

My pass mark is couples support and promote their mate, even if they are not entirely for it.

The "contract" is the important part.  Scared of committing, are we ?  
Imagine the 2nd time.  It takes guts.

In ways, I feel people get married in the "idealism" of it all.  After the "event", the peak has passed.
Perhaps only "christians" should be married ?

Lifelong caring is a big part of it. My ex still gets the benefits of our marriage.  
It is not something a guy takes as purely a legalistic contract.

Kill. the contract------- and i could say to those who insist on one--- scared our mates will desert us at will are we? Why are we so insecure we need a contract?

I am not scared of committment , but I still dont want a legal element brought into what is supposed to be a match borne out of love.

That is a surprsing comment from you oceans ?   "Kill. the contract------- and i could say to those who insist on one-"

you parents had a bad break up or something ?
Can tell us here.  

Sprintcyclist wrote on Jul 6^th, 2007 at 3:05pm:

That is a surprsing comment from you oceans ?   "Kill. the contract------- and i could say to those who insist on one-" you parents had a bad break up or something ? Can tell us here.

Interesting you ask Sprint.

My parents werent married..not for the first 30 yrs of their union. My mother wanted to be desperately but my dad wouldnt have it. In the meantime they  bore 5 children .

In the end my dad relented, he had been in a bad marriage previous you see. My father dies 3 yrs later and my mother 4 yrs after him

They spent 30 together. No legal binding contract..and I beleive this is why they stayed together, It was a turbulant time and the tests certainly were there thats for sure.

My dad was a farmers son from Victoria, his family owned an apple farm/orchard from around Morwell. My dad stood to be quite well off as the eldestt son , but he promised into marrige to another farmers daughters much like an ethnically arranged situation but he couldnt bear it and  simply dissappeared after 2 yrs of marriage and no children thankfully.

He then met my mum and fell in love...the rest is history.

I saw from theyre example that if we love someone no ceremony or contract will make nay difference in the end.

But a lot of pple still do and love theyre married life. But i just think too much is made of it ,when stats dont auger well for the happliy ever after myth.Makes us complacent and we tend to take each other for granted..the union grows old quickly and we dont tend to value our partners, its like ' Ive got you now..but could I have done better?" The contract is a passion killer and passion keeps a marraige fresh and strong.

Thanks for sharing that Oceans.

Much appreciated

Sprintcyclist wrote on Jul 6^th, 2007 at 6:39pm:

Thanks for sharing that Oceans. Much appreciated

No worries sprint.