Wjy do some men have trouble admitting to theyre girlfriend they love them..? Women complain of this all the time.

Is it pride.?

Is it not wanting to show weakess/vulnerablilty..?

Are they afraid of declaring theyre hand? etc.

Of course some guys just dont, a lot do but cant actually say it.

Men know this is not something to lie about, so they wait until they are very sure to say so.  They know it is not something they should get wrong, and may not be as in touch with their feelings as women. They may also take longer to trust. And they may be worried abotu power aspects of the relationship and getting hurt.

These things are all individual anyway i think, but i do agree with you that men are likely to take longer to know/say they love someone.

This is a dumb thread (No offence, Oceans).

Guys don't say they 'love you' because they want to be SURE that they do. They're simply being HONEST.

Most guys who say, "yeah, I love ya babe" are dirty rotten liars, willing to take advantage of the stupidity of women with rose coloured glasses. I loathe guys who say they love girls and don't mean it.


The guys who are hesitant to say they love you are the good guys... appreciate it oceans.



It's a big deal... love doesn't happen at first site... it happens over time IMO. It's difficult to establish... which is a big concern for guys.

Good answer DT - again I agree (except for the dumb thread bit).

Some women actually get worried when a man says he loves her - and would prefer he didn't unless she believed he really meant it.  Sometimes even if he does mean it, she'd prefer not to hear it.

When a man says he loves you too quickly - you immediately think "What does he want".  Slow and steady is the best way to go and make sure all emotions are reciprocal before accepting it.

mantra wrote on Jun 25^th, 2007 at 2:52pm:

Good answer DT - again I agree (except for the dumb thread bit). Some women actually get worried when a man says he loves her - and would prefer he didn't unless she believed he really meant it.  Sometimes even if he does mean it, she'd prefer not to hear it. When a man says he loves you too quickly - you immediately think "What does he want".  Slow and steady is the best way to go and make sure all emotions are reciprocal before accepting it.

Sorry Mantra and Oceans. I don't mean to be harsh. I just wanted to mnake it clear how some men like myself get annoyed at this kind of thing. I think girls are nieve if they haven't figured it out yet.

I guess you can say that eventually girls work it out... when they mature around 21-23... but don't realise it until it's too late and have kids...

ex-member DonaldTrump wrote on Jun 25^th, 2007 at 3:18pm:

mantra wrote on Jun 25th, 2007 at 2:52pm: Good answer DT - again I agree (except for the dumb thread bit). Some women actually get worried when a man says he loves her - and would prefer he didn't unless she believed he really meant it.  Sometimes even if he does mean it, she'd prefer not to hear it. When a man says he loves you too quickly - you immediately think "What does he want".  Slow and steady is the best way to go and make sure all emotions are reciprocal before accepting it. Sorry Mantra and Oceans. I don't mean to be harsh. I just wanted to mnake it clear how some men like myself get annoyed at this kind of thing. I think girls are nieve if they haven't figured it out yet. I guess you can say that eventually girls work it out... when they mature around 21-23... but don't realise it until it's too late and have kids...

I appreciate your honesty Donald.


So if a man doesnt say he loves her what are one -three definite signs that tells a female he loves her?

mantra wrote on Jun 25^th, 2007 at 2:52pm:

Good answer DT - again I agree (except for the dumb thread bit). Some women actually get worried when a man says he loves her - and would prefer he didn't unless she believed he really meant it.  Sometimes even if he does mean it, she'd prefer not to hear it. When a man says he loves you too quickly - you immediately think "What does he want".  Slow and steady is the best way to go and make sure all emotions are reciprocal before accepting it.

let it mature Mantra..like a good wine?

cautious connie wrote on Jun 25^th, 2007 at 2:41pm:

Men know this is not something to lie about, so they wait until they are very sure to say so.  They know it is not something they should get wrong, and may not be as in touch with their feelings as women. They may also take longer to trust. And they may be worried abotu power aspects of the relationship and getting hurt. These things are all individual anyway i think, but i do agree with you that men are likely to take longer to know/say they love someone.

and I ve it  heard said connie some never ever say it..but show it thru deeds and committment.

There are none. Women are too eager to believe they are loved and suggesting something like that would just encourage the self delusion. You should be asking about signs that he doesn't love you. Not that there are any of those either.

freediver wrote on Jun 25^th, 2007 at 3:36pm:

There are none. Women are too eager to believe they are loved and suggesting something like that would just encourage the self delusion. You should be asking about signs that he doesn't love you. Not that there are any of those either.

well perhaps you would care to expand Freediver..would you take your one true love a big groper for instance? Or maybe if you didnt take her one she should feel worried? :-/

She should chill out and stop trying to read minds.

freediver wrote on Jun 25^th, 2007 at 3:51pm:

She should chill out and stop trying to read minds.

I think men need to learn to communicate with they're loved ones more. Why should women feel as though they have to guess?

oceanz wrote on Jun 25^th, 2007 at 3:38pm:

freediver wrote on Jun 25th, 2007 at 3:36pm: There are none. Women are too eager to believe they are loved and suggesting something like that would just encourage the self delusion. You should be asking about signs that he doesn't love you. Not that there are any of those either. well perhaps you would care to expand Freediver..would you take your one true love a big groper for instance? Or maybe if you didnt take her one she should feel worried? :-/

I think thered have to be signs your man no longer loves you..like for instance if your nightly cocoa began to take on a slightly bitter taste..or he staretd digging a big hole down the backyard and you guessed its not a new veggie patch..?

A copy of  a 'Do it yourself Will Pack ' arrives in the mail. etc..there would be signs.

The main signs would be that he was not interested in being with you, hugging you, talking with you, or sex - in my view. He would also be less sympathetic to anything he seea as a  personality foible  than previously.

Here is the basic truth of it all.  


MEN+WOMAN+SEX =LOVE.

We have only a desire to breed. ''Love'' was something invented by women to use as emotional blackmail against men.

wrote on Jun 30^th, 2007 at 9:50am:

Here is the basic truth of it all.   MEN+WOMAN+SEX =LOVE. We have only a desire to breed. ''Love'' was something invented by women to use as emotional blackmail against men.

NOW we are getting somehere near the truth!!.

So you are saying Aussie that sex and love for men are the same thing..and that women only kid themsleves?

That love and sex are one and the same and if women were honest we'd admit it?

Why then do some pple want to stay together forever..because the sex is great?

Dont get me wrong..I tend to agree,.

Quote:

So you are saying Aussie that sex and love for men are the same thing..and that women only kid themsleves?

Pretty much. there are some feelings on the side of the man but these are not like the females.
More for companionship than anything else. Sure im only young but ive had relationships, ive seen others in their relationships and indeed my own mother and fathers marriage.
She was far too emotional and he was more concerned with having a stable and happy life.
She ALWAYS started the fights because of ''Love''- used as an excuse.
Notice how you women always resort to ''Dont you love me anymore''? Emotional Blackmail.



Quote:

That love and sex are one and the same and if women were honest we'd admit it?

Yeah, The ultimate goal of any creature is to reproduce. Its the law of Nature.


Quote:

Why then do some pple want to stay together forever..because the sex is great?

They are compatable companions. Companionship has been misread as ''Love''.


Quote:

Dont get me wrong..I tend to agree,.

Well its a rather plausable theory isnt it?

Not always does MEN+WOMAN+SEX =LOVE.
At times it is just for physical relief. At times to be close, at times to get sweaty   :)

for me, it is one of the ways of knowing I am loved, and do love.

Sprintcyclist wrote on Jun 30^th, 2007 at 11:03am:

Not always does MEN+WOMAN+SEX =LOVE. At times it is just for physical relief. At times to be close, at times to get sweaty   :) for me, it is one of the ways of knowing I am loved, and do love.

I just wanted to mnake it clear [i]how some men like myself get annoyed at this kind of thing

Im wondering why that is DT? you say girls are niave if they havent figured it out yet..how are they supposed to fihure it out..

If that were so easy this thread wouldnt exist.

Any pointers as to what makes it obvious to women how they can tell if he really cares a lot/loves her?

Things he does, says etc. Dt- anyone?

Men hate to be grilled about this but some women hate not knowing!

thought you women were meant to be the "perceptive" ones ?

sex and love are not the same, but they can be related, and both are better when they are.

Excellent posting Connie.
Superb

Sprintcyclist wrote on Jun 30^th, 2007 at 11:01pm:

Excellent posting Connie. Superb

yes connie..superb..very insightful.

but i still tend to think that Ausiie is right when he says that sex and love are one and the same.

The mind plays tricks on us.

Men are sex focussed and women are love focussed..there is no love relationship without a sex component and couples would simlpy break up if there were no sex involved.

Quote:

couples would simlpy break up if there were no sex involved.

Nail hit on head. 8-)

wrote on Jun 30^th, 2007 at 11:38pm:

Quote: couples would simlpy break up if there were no sex involved. Nail hit on head. 8-)

Exactly... therefore... more sex.  8-)

Please speak with my girlfriend, Oceans... you need to talk her into it.

ex-member DonaldTrump wrote on Jul 1^st, 2007 at 12:38am:

wrote on Jun 30th, 2007 at 11:38pm: Quote: couples would simlpy break up if there were no sex involved. Nail hit on head. 8-) Exactly... therefore... more sex.  8-) Please speak with my girlfriend, Oceans... you need to talk her into it.

you are too patient Donald..it must be love. :)

If you cant talk her into it..Im sure I wont have any luck  .

She must be special.

Donald, may be a good time to get a trained professional onto the job.
Relationship counsellors are good.
In the long run, it has always paid me to get a professional onto a problem ASAP.

I used to hate "begging" to feel "loved".  Then being ignored anyway.
There is a message in that behaviour, loud and clear.

Sprintcyclist wrote on Jul 1^st, 2007 at 4:03pm:

Donald, may be a good time to get a trained professional onto the job. Relationship counsellors are good. In the long run, it has always paid me to get a professional onto a problem ASAP. I used to hate "begging" to feel "loved".  Then being ignored anyway. There is a message in that behaviour, loud and clear.

Youve had counselling training Sprint..what about a counselling thread for men..or here is fine too.Maybe Donald could do with a few tips?

Need any tips DT?

oceans, i'm not a counsellor.
Is too serious for a biased hack like me to "have a go."

My tip - go to a professional relationship counsellor.  pay the man the money.
Is MUCH cheaper than not going to one.

oceanz wrote on Jun 30^th, 2007 at 11:33pm:

Sprintcyclist wrote on Jun 30th, 2007 at 11:01pm: Excellent posting Connie. Superb yes connie..superb..very insightful.

Thanks.  :-[

wrote on Jun 30^th, 2007 at 11:38pm:

Quote: couples would simlpy break up if there were no sex involved. Nail hit on head. 8-)

i dated a girl for 3 years without sex.

No wonder you broke up.

we broke up cuz she didnt wanna get married lol.

DT - you are too young to worry about a counsellor at this stage of your life.  If you are having these problems now - they won't get any better if you ever decide to get married.  

Life has changed over the last few decades - it's not just women looking for love and men looking for sex - in many instances it's a reversal.

Young women are far more confident and aggressive now and more often than not initiate the first move and lovemaking.  

Your girlfriend could either have real sexual hangups, be really embarrassed about a part of her body or terrified - because it's a rare woman that doesn't make love once a relationship has been established.

If you care enough you will take the time and trouble to find out the real reason - but if not, and you want sex which is only natural - move on to a girl that is prepared to meet you halfway.

Pender... are you SURE you were going ou with her?  :P Or were you just friends?  ;)


My god... what's with everyone suggesting a councillor? I'm not a bloody mental patient or emotionally traumitized.

We just all love you Donald.   :)

(wheres the hug icon ? )

ex-member DonaldTrump wrote on Jul 5^th, 2007 at 6:43pm:

Pender... are you SURE you were going ou with her?  :P Or were you just friends?  ;) My god... what's with everyone suggesting a councillor? I'm not a bloody mental patient or emotionally traumitized.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`yes, biiiigg huuuggsss for Donald~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``*

ex-member DonaldTrump wrote on Jul 5^th, 2007 at 6:43pm:

Pender... are you SURE you were going ou with her?  :P Or were you just friends?  ;) My god... what's with everyone suggesting a councillor? I'm not a bloody mental patient or emotionally traumitized.

no i am just a good little boy and she was a good little girl.

and i think your fine how you are, i dont get all this councillor business, my dad was my councillor, hed say "deal with it" and i did. best councilling ever.

Classic Liberal wrote on Jul 5^th, 2007 at 9:03pm:

ex-member DonaldTrump wrote on Jul 5th, 2007 at 6:43pm: Pender... are you SURE you were going ou with her?  :P Or were you just friends?  ;) My god... what's with everyone suggesting a councillor? I'm not a bloody mental patient or emotionally traumitized. no i am just a good little boy and she was a good little girl. and i think your fine how you are, i dont get all this councillor business, my dad was my councillor, hed say "deal with it" and i did. best councilling ever.

Councillors are crazier than the people than they're supposedly helping... that's in my experience, anyway.

there is the good old aussie councillor...  comes in schooners.